Ranked Worst to Best: Judas Priest

 

Ranking Worst to Best: Judas Priest

I've been dying to get back to doing worst to best posts and what better way to start with one of the greatest heavy metal bands to ever do it: Judas Priest. 

The band just released their 19th studio album exactly 50 years after their debut was released which is astonishing it itself. I recently had the privilege of seeing them play live at the Glasgow Hydro in a brilliant performance encompassing their half a century long career. 

Really it's this performance that had me chomping at the bit to revisit their huge discography as I'd only been through at least 10 before attempting this ranking. It took me just under a week but it was worth it. I'll be keeping my thoughts short to keep this as brief as possible. Without any further ado, let's start with the worst they have to offer:

19. Nostradamus (2008)

I feel like this might be a controversial start as I know there are some fans that hold this experiment in high regard but this is the most miserable time with any of their albums and the one I want to revisit the least. For context this is a double concept album based on (you guessed it) Nostradamus and the real kicker is that it has the insane runtime of 102 minutes.

I can enjoy a nice long album if it earns it's long runtime but this was just ridiculous. If there are 23 tracks in total and I only add 3 to my playlist then there's a major problem. I can see how some could enjoy the change to a more symphonic/power metal style but this just wasn't for me even if I appreciate the attempt at something a bit different. 

Rating: 4/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Nostradamus', 'Alone', 'Persecution'

18. Demolition (2001)

For those that don't know, Priest's usual legendary vocalist Rob Halford left the band after 1990 and was replaced by Tim "Ripper" Owens for 2 albums including this one. They've become kind of mythical as you can't find them on streaming services and good luck finding a decently priced CD. I resorted to Youtube in the end which wasn't the best but I made it work. 

This one is often pushed as their worst ever album and I can see why even if I had a more enjoyable time here than I did with 'Nostradamus'. At this point they were clearly trying to sound more modern like the nu-metal acts that were around at this time period giving us tracks like awful 'Devil Digger' which sounds like a bad combination of Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie. 

It did sometimes work to their advantage though like the fun, Metallica sounding 'Bloodsuckers' or the best track on the album 'Subterfuge' which has a clear Korn influence. Even the two ballads we get are not that bad. 

Where it's really lacking is in very few memorable tracks and so many that should have had half of their runtime cut, leading to a way too long total runtime of around 70 mins. It's a goofy curiosity at best and a dull bore at worst.

Rating 5/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Subterfuge', 'Bloodsuckers', 'Lost & Found'

17. Rocka Rolla (1974)

Another one that may be deemed controversial as it's their debut but I don't think it's aged that well. It's not a bad album at all but one where it's clear the band doesn't really have a direction even if there are inklings of what's to come, and some may enjoy the more classic rock sound on offer.

There's very obvious Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd included throughout the tracklist but sadly only a couple of tracks end up memorable such as the catchy title track and the 7 minute 'Run of the Mill' which hints at their future sound quite a bit. Still it's at least only 34 minutes long and a clear example of a new band finding their sound so I can let it slide a bit.

Rating 5.5/10

Recommeded Tracks: 'Run of the Mill', 'Rocka Rolla'

16. Jugulator (1997)

And so we come to the end of Tim Owens albums on the record and at least it's better than 'Demolition'. And just like that album, they would try to modernise the Priest sound to better but still mixed results. 

Tracks like the title track and 'Blood Stained' bring the metal energy that you would expect from 1990's Priest, thought it does still contain some tracks that should have been cut like the dumb as hell 'Death Row' and other boring duds like 'Brain Dead' and 'Decapitate'. I almost panicked when I saw 9 minute closer 'Cathedral Spires' coming my way but it ended up as the best track on the album.

It's not quite the disaster I'd been led to believe but it's still not great as it's too long at just under an hour with little varirty outside of a few highlight tracks. 

Rating 6/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Blood Stained', 'Burn in Hell', 'Cathedral Spires'

15. Ram It Down (1988)

God this was a weird one to go through. 

The band was in a strange place as they'd just come off the unexpectadly glam metal 'Turbo' with mixed reactions from fans so they weren't sure if they should keep down the same path or go back to their more popular traditional metal sound. In the end they did both with odd results.

Not a particularly bad album by any means but one that ends up kind of a mess. It starts off well with heavy metal pounders 'Ram It Down' and .... uh... 'Heavy Metal' but after that it's all over the place like 'Love Zone' and 'Love You to Death' bringing the cheese and an out of nowhere cover of 'Johnny B. Goode'. 

Pretty good but could have been better.

Rating: 6.5/10

Recommended tracks: 'Ram It Down', 'Heavy Metal', 'Blood Red Skies' 

14. Sin After Sin (1977)

Another one that might get me in trouble with the faithful fans but I just didn't get the hype around this one. It's a good album don't get me wrong but feels like a step back after 'Sad Wings of Destiny' to their rockier style shown on their debut album. 

There's definitely some highlights such as the adrenaline inducing opener 'Sinner' and energetic closer 'Dissident Aggressor' which even ended up being covered by the equally legendary Slayer. 

A lovely cover of 'Diamonds and Rust' and the solid 'Starbreaker' are enough to keep me interested even if the middle portion drags a bit. Still, a damn good effort overall and kept nice and short. 

Rating 7/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Sinner', 'Diamonds and Rust', 'Dissident Aggressor'

13. Point of Entry (1981)

I get why this one ends up low on several ranking lists as it had the dubious task of following the iconic 'British Steel' 1980 release, and it's clear that the band wanted to keep the mainstream attention going by going a bit more classic rock once again except this time they pulled it off quite well. 

Opener 'Heading Out to the Highway' is the main reason to listen to this record as it's catchy as hell and will not leave your head for days after hearing it. 'Hot Rockin' and Desert Plains' also bring the goods along with a selection of solid tunes such as 'Solar Angels' and 'On the Run'

Not totally memorable but another good effort from the boys.

Rating 7/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Heading Out to the Highway', 'Hot Rockin', 'Desert Plains' 

12. Redeemer of Souls (2014)

This was the next effort after my least favourite 'Nostradamus' and the band really needed a win here. Whilst not an album of the year contender by any means, this was still a damn good effort to bring proceedings back on track. 

For the first time in a while it felt like they were taking inspiration from their older sound especially with tracks like 'March of the Damned' sounding like a throwback to 'Metal Gods'. They were also pulling on some of their own inpirations like with the heavily Jimi Hendrix feeling 'Crossfire'. 

Really not too much negative to say outside of it feeling too long at nearly an hour with a few forgettable tracks that could have been easily cut to make a more concise record. 

Rating: 7.5/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Dragonaut', 'Halls of Valhalla', 'Battle Cry'

11. Angel of Retribution (2005)

After the disaster that was 'Demolition' Tim Owens was removed as lead vocalist and Rob Halford, thankfully, came back into the fold, leaving fans salivating for a return to form that had sorely been missed since 1990. 

Whilst not the greatest album ever, it was a hell of a go at it as these boys reminded everyone who the hell Judas Priest wer, starting with epic opener 'Judas Rising' to show that they still had it. The album also included big rockers like 'Deal with the Devil', 'Demonizer' and even bringing the pace down nicely with the fantastic ballad 'Angel'. 

Really the album's only issue is the closing track 'Lochness' which comes in at a whopping 13 minutes and really should have been at least half that time. It's just such a bore and so repetitive that it ends up dragging an awesome return record down. When I listen to this one again, I'll be ending the runtime before it starts. 

Rating 8/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Deal with the Devil', 'Judas Rising', 'Angel'

10. Sad Wings of Desriny (1976)

This is where I'm gonna lose the fans as this one if often heavily regarded as one of, if not their all time best, albums and placing it midway through this list is seen as heresy. Whilst I do enjoy this one heavily, it's just not perfect for me. 

It's a very top heavy album with the first few tracks doing the heavy lifting with big hitters like 'Victim of Changes' still played live to this very day. It does lose me a little halfway through as while there are still some good tracks but the last three just don't do that much for me and I don't find them memorable. 

I'm just glad that they managed to find their sound after their very meh debut and I do hope this one grows on me over time should I ever decide to edit this list. 

Rating: 8/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Victim of Changes', 'The Ripper', 'Dreamer Deceiver'

09. Turbo (1986)

The fact that I'm putting this one right above 'Sad Wings' is gonna get me some hate as this one is not usually considered as one of their better efforts, but I don't care, I love this album. 

At this point in time they were really trying to for a glam/poppier sound to attract more fans even if they alienated a few of their own along the way. Weirdly their peers in Iron Maiden would do the very same thing in the very same year. 

I don't have much in the way of negatives as I enjoyed every track that was presented to me. It does peak a tad early with catchy as hell openers 'Turbo Lover' and 'Locked In' but they bring that quality back with efforts like 'Out in the Cold' and 'Hot for Love'

It's cheesy and almost silly but it's a good time. 

Rating: 8/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Turbo Lover', 'Locked In', 'Out in the Cold'

08. Killing Machine (1978)

This one was almost much higher up on my list but sadly two of their weakest ever tracks reared their head here in way too Queen-like 'Take on the Worlds' and the cringey 'Burnin Up'.

Thankfully everything else here hits hard like heavy opener 'Delivering the Goods', the iconic 'Hell Bent for Leather', and the best cover they ever did with 'The Green Manalishi'.

If you can ignore those bad tracks, you're in for a good time. 

Rating: 8/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Delivering the Goods', 'Hell Bent for Leather', 'The Green Manalishi'

07. Stained Class (1976)

God I love this album. It's really a testament to how great the top albums in this list are that this is as low as it is. 

It includes one of my all time favourite Priest cuts in the epic 'Beyond the Realms of Death' which I was fortunate enough to hear played live earlier in the year. Really it should have closed the album but for some reason it's followed by closer 'Heroes End' which while a good track, doesn't feel that great after what we just heard. 

There's not much to complain here outside of one not very memorable track in 'Savage' but apart from that, it's pretty much banger after banger from beginning to end. 

Rating: 8.5/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Exciter', 'Better By You, Better Than Me', 'Beyond the Realms of Death'

06. Firepower (2018)

As I was going back through my full list, part of me thought I'd overrated this one a tad to put it so high, but after another listen, I realised I was correct all along in my placement as this one is just an absolute gem.

At the time it was their best album since 1990 and it's not hard to see why as right from the get go, this one is just non-stop energy and fun. This includes some of the best tracks they'd written in decades like favourite lead single 'Lightning Strike', with tracks that have a more epic feeling like 'Never the Heroes' or the almighty 'Rising From Ruins' that includes a guitar solo that could bring you to tears. 

The only negative I have is that it's a tad long and there are two or three tracks that could have been cut as they come across as more filler, but the rest is enough to make up for it. 

Rating 9/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Never the Heroes', 'No Surrender', 'Rising From Ruins'

05. British Steel (1980)

For most fans, this is the starting point of their fandom with quite possibly the most iconic album the band would ever release. 

It's not perfect with a couple of tracks I could do without (looking at you 'United') but it's very close. Of course we have three of the most popular Priest songs ever included here with the speedy 'Breaking the Law', the gigantic 'Metal Gods' and the catchy as hell 'Living After Midnight'.

My favourite track here though is 'Steeler' which I think is one of the best album closers ever made and the final instrumental section always gets my adrenaline flowing. Add in that this whole thing has a lovely runtime of 36 minutes and you've got a winner. 

Rating: 9.5/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Breaking the Law', 'Metal Gods', 'Living After Midnight', 'Steeler'

04. Defenders of the Faith (1984)

For some reason, whenever I went back to classic Priest I would always avoid this album. After giving a couple of good listens I can easily say that this one is an absolute stormer from beginning to end. 

I thought it would be impossible to follow up something as near perfect as 'Screaming for Vengeance' but they pretty much nailed it here. 

So many classic tracks to be found here and enjoyed, this might end up being Priest's most underrated album ever. I love it. 

Rating: 10/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Freewheel Burning' 'Jawbreaker', 'The Sentinel', 'Eat Me Alive', 'Night Comes Down'

It's gonna start to get a bit boring here as I go full on praise mode from this point on. 

03. Invincible Shield (2024)

I originally had this one pegged at number two on this list but I'd rather wait and see how history ends up finding this album first. I have to say though, how these guys are still able to go this hard at their age absolutely blows my mind.

The record is practically perfect from beginning to end with one of their best singles ever in 'Panic Attack' opening things up and it never really relents. Normally runtime used well is a big thing for me, but this thing at 52 minutes goes by in a flash and you feel the need to listen to it all over again. 

It's my frontrunner for Album of the Year 2024 and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Absolutely brilliant. 

Rating: 10/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Panic Attack', 'Invincible Shield', 'Gates of Hell', 'Crown of Thorns', 'Giants in the Sky'

02. Screaming for Vengeance (1982)

After the mixed reception of 'Point of Entry', Priest fired back in spectacular fashion with a divine album for all metal fans to ingest wholeheartedly. 

If you can find me a better intro than the 1 2 punch of 'The Hellion' and 'Electric Eye' I'd like to hear it. And whilst the album does contain one of their biggest ever tracks in 'You've Got Another Thing Coming', I don't even consider it one of the top tracks here!

'Pain and Pleasure' is my least favourite track and even that one's worth going back to check out again. Heavy metal heaven. 

Rating: 10/10

Recommended Tracks: 'Electric Eye', 'Riding on the Wind', 'Bloodstone', 'Screaming for Vengeance', 'Fever'

01. Painkiller (1990)

Any time I check out another Priest ranking list, this one barely ever makes the top three and I have no idea why. 

It's forever been my favourite Priest album to go back to, and in relistening to all 19 albums I thought I might change my mind, but no, this is still their best ever. Not a single bad or unmemorable track to be found here and includes the all time classic title track that still has me excited to listen no matter how many times I hear it. 

The personification of heavy metal itself. All hail Judas Priest.

Rating: 10/10

Recommended Tracks: All of them

If you stuck around, thanks so much for taking the time to read or even skim through the full post. Next time, I'll be tackling another of heavy metal's all time greats. 

Ranked Worst to Best: Halloween

 

So now that we have the easy ranking out of the way with the Evil Dead series, it's time to move on to another favourite even if it contains some of my least favourite horror movies ever made: the Halloween series. We're talking AT LEAST 4 different timelines here. 

Now just to get it out of the way; most of these Halloween ranking lists do include Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, but I'm going to omit it here as I just want to have Michael Myers focused list. I do like Halloween 3 but not quite as much as other people. Would get like a 7/10 from me and would be higher up on the list for sure.

For a bit of backstory, I've loved this franchise since I was a kid and regularly come back to it, especially in the month of October. Michael Myers has always been my favourite iconic horror character so I always await a new entry in the franchise with baited breath. There are 12 movies here in all in very varying quality from 1978 all the way up to 2022 with many different takes on his origin and motivation for killing.

There will be some spoilers.

Anyway, this is a long one, so let's start with what might be my least favourite horror movie of all time:

12. Halloween Ends (2022)

Now I know there are some people (not a lot) that like this movie, but I need to ask; how? I already hated this movie the first time I saw it in cinema last year. In preparation of this list, I decided to give it a fresh watch and another chance as I had been thinking I may have been too harsh on it. I'm glad I did because it turns out I hated it even more on the second go round. By the way I will be spoiling the whole film if you haven't seen it already. 

I will admit that it does start well enough with an opening sequence that completely plays with the audience's expections and ends in almost hilariously brutal fashion, but it's all downhill from here. For a start, the rest of the film is set 4 years after the events of Halloween Kills, and Laurie Strode (played well by Jamie Lee Curtis yet again) is just living her best life. The same Laurie Strode that spent 40 years in Halloween 2018 preparing for Michael Myers to come back to the point of making her own home a trap for him and lost custody of her daughter due to her extreme upbringing. The same Laurie Strode that lost a ton of friends to the hands of Myers on the night he came back including her own daughter, now just doesn't care. Even with Michael on the loose. No home traps, no protection for her granddaughter. Nothing. Strike one. 

Then we have the main focus of the movie in new character Corey. After being accused of murder and the whole town hating him, he someone absorbs Michael's powers and becomes the new Haddonfield killer whilst also dating Laurie's granddaughter Alison. And yes this romance feels forced as hell. So the first time I watched this, whilst I wasn't thrilled about Micahel Myers being a background character in his own movie (and looking weak as hell the entire time) I was interested to see where this new take would go. After about 90 minutes of building up Corey, he just dies and the movie completely forgets about him, making the previous 90 mins feel totally pointless and filler to get to what everyone came to see. Strike two. 

And then we have the finale that the trailers promised us; the final battle between Laurie and Michael. Whilst I actually do enjoy their fight scene for as short as it is, due to the movie having less than 5 minutes of screen time for Michael before this moment, it just doesn't feel earned and after having my time wasted I just didn't care. The last time these two great characters will likely be on screen together and I just didn't care. Strike three.

I hate this movie. The only positives I have are a couple of decent kills and the fact that it's not a complete bore for it's near 2 hour runtime. 

2/10 and that's being generous.

11. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

A couple of years ago, I bought this movie on Amazon Video as it was one of the only movies in the series I had yet to watch. I'd always heard how bad it was but on first watch, I actually quite enjoyed it and didn't see what the big deal was. Cut to this week when I'm checking it out for the second time for the purposes of this list and now I get it; this movie sucks. 

Famously there are 2 cuts of this movie with Producer's cut released years later but it really doesn't make the Theatrical cut any better outside of a more sensible ending which is still dumb as hell. This one continues the story started in Halloween 4 with Michael hunting down his niece Jamie which started well with him being a clever killer, but here, it's clear he's been trying to kidnap her for the purpose of breeding her for a cult that's been controlling him this whole time. Also when you realise this takes place 6 years after Halloween 5, that would make Jamie 15 years old and it's heavily implied that Michael was the one doing the impregnating which is just all kinds of wrong. Plus after building up Jamie as a character for 2 movies, she's brutally killed 20 minutes into this. 

It doesn't help that with Michael  being controlled by this cult, it really makes him feel more like a background character in his own movie and just doesn't feel like much of a threat. This is also one of Paul Rudd's earliest roles as a returning Tommy Doyle and whilst I love Paul, he's pretty bad in this and trying too hard to be creepy. We also have Donald Pleasance back for a fifth time as Dr Loomis and his presence just feels tired at this point, though sadly Donald would pass away before the film was even released. 

Really this is such a forgettable movie as I watched it only a few days before writing this and I barely remember anything about it outside of a couple of kills. It does pick up towards the end but the first 45 minutes are pretty damn dull. This would be my least favourite if Ends didn't piss me off so much.

3/10

10. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Before Halloween Ends came out, this was always my least favourite in the series. Whilst I'm still not a fan, it's not quite the all time bad one I remember. Don't get me wrong, the first hour is an absolute snooze fest but it does pick up in the finale in the Myers House with a tense chase between Michael and Jamie.

After the awesome twist ending of Halloween 4, this really failed to live up to a potential new premise. Whilst Donald Pleasance is always fun to watch, the former voice of reason from the original has become an absolute madman, even to the point of threatening young kids. Uncomfortable to watch sometimes. 

Even it's intro is non-sensical with some random guy in a hut looking after Michael for a year while he recovers from his wounds which is never explained and Michael just ends up killing him anyway. Not much else to say. Borefest.

4/10

9.  Rob Zombie's Halloween II (2009)

Before writing this list I thought this one would have ended up higher as I remember thinking it quite underrated but on second viewing, this is a weird ass film. It definitely feels like Rob Zombie getting his creative juices going to make the most unconventional Halloween movie but it just feels too bloated with ideas. 

The best part of the movie comes towards the beginning with Michael chasing an injured Laurie Strode through a hospital in a callback to the original sequel, but it ends up being a way too long dream sequence that ends up pretty pointless. Zombie also seems to have a vendetta against the iconic mask as he barely wears the damn thinng and by the end, half of it is missing. He also goes way overboard with the visions of Michael's dead mother and the pale white horse that just left me sighing by the end. Not to mention that the script can be very cringey especially with one conversation by 2 paramedics that just feels overtly grotesque. 

Also this is easily my least favourite portrayal of Dr Loomis. It's performed well by the always incredible Malcolm McDowell, but this version of a fame hungry diva just doesn't work for me and it feels like his comeuppance by the end just isn't enough. 

I will say that the movie does make up for it's shortcomings with a ton of gore and absolutely brutal kill scenes. This might be the most bloodfilled of the entire series. Overall though, despite being strange it's just so forgettable and I feel that Zombie is capable of more. 

5/10

8. Halloween Resurrection (2002)

I'm probably gonna get a lot of flack for not having this right at the bottom, but this is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. 

Fun fact: this is the first Halloween film I ever watched when I was around 10 years old and I've loved Michael Myers ever since. With hindsight I can say that objectively this isn't a good movie, but I still find a good bit of enjoyment in it. 

Most of the hate comes from the intro with Jamie Lee Curtis being killed off within the first 15 minutes of the runtime likely because she couldn't be arsed with a full movie. Not only that but it does ruin the great ending of Halloween H20 with Michael seemingly killed off for good only for it to turn out that he swapped his body for a paramedic's and managed to escape. Lame but the actual asylum chase is pretty fun and it wouldn't be the last we'd see of Jamie Lee as Laurie so it gets a pass. 

The rest of the movie is pretty much Michael killing off a bunch of annoying (and I mean ANNOYING) teens but sometimes that's all I need from these movies and most of the kills are pretty fun. I do hate Busta Rhymes in this though as he's so over the top and the fact that he manages to kick Michael Myers' ass TWICE is insulting. Fun and short movie though.

5/10

7. Halloween Kills (2021)

Talk about a mixed bag. 

I've seen this movie three times now, and everytime it's like a diminishing return. I've went from loving it, to thinking it pretty good and now to thinking it's decent. It doesn't help that Halloween Ends ruined the potential anticipation from the ending of this movie but I try my best to move on from that travesty. 

What I do love about this movie is Michael himself. This might be my favourite version of him as he's just absolutely sadistic in this, and if not for Rob Zombie's Halloween II, this would easily be the goriest one of all. The scene of him emerging from a flaming house in the rain, ready to take on a squad of firefighters with his awesome half-torched mask is just so iconic to me that if the rest of the movie felt like this, it would easily be in my top three. Plus, the flashback scenes to show what happened after the events of the original are pretty neat.

Where the movie loses me is outside of Michael as there's a heavy focus on mob mentality from the town members feeling enraged by the mere thought of Michael Myers but it just feels like it goes on and on forever only for most of them to end up butchered anyway. And don't get me started on the whole "Evil Dies Tonight" thing. Total cringe everytime. 

Not to mention THAT hospital scene with the mob chasing down an escaped asylum patient thinking it's Michael when he looks absolutely nothing like him. They try and play it as an emotional, sad scene only for it to end in a bloody mess that almost feels comedic and out of tone with the situation. 

Still, I can enjoy this one for the most part. 

6.5/10

6. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

This one is another case of me owning this movie on VHS as a young lad and just watching it over and over again, though unlike Resurrection, this one still holds up pretty well. 

I will say that it has possibly the worst looking Michael Myer's ever with the goofiest looking mask and weird hunched shoulders the entire runtime. 

This does continue the new tradition of Michael hunting down a family member, this time in 8 year old niece Jamie which does add a bit of extra tension, given the feeling of helplessness added with a child. We also have her sister Rachel who's one of the better characters in the whole series as she actually feels likeable the entire runtime. 

Michael also comes across a little more devious here as he intentionally cuts off the entire towns phone line and power just to make it easier to stalk and kill, even going so far as to take out an entire police station which I wish had been on camera. There's even a scene where he has a shotgun, and instead of shooting it, impales someone with it! Love it. 

It also has one hell of a twish ending that comes out of nowhere and leaves intrigue for the next installment, even though that one would ultimately fail to follow up. I would say it's a tad slow at times but it makes up for it when needed. 

7/10

5. Halloween II (1981)

I don't think there was ever meant to be a sequel to the original Halloween, but after the slasher genre became a crazr thanks to that and the original Friday the 13th, they kind of had to. 

This is one I still watch regularly as it makes a nice companion piece to the first by continuing on right where the first one left off so you can watch them both in one sitting to make it feel like one big story. With the way it's filmed it even has the same feel as the original, even if Michael's look isn't quite as good as it was the first time round. 

This was also the movie that made the reveal (for better or worse) that Michael was Laurie's brother which would affect most installments going forward and would define Michael's character for a couple of decades. 

It does try a little too hard to be like the original and pales in comparison but is still a fun time regardless, with some good kills including one of my favourites in a hydrotherapy pool that comes across as absolutely sickening with melted skin and gnarly effects. It's a good time. 

7.5/10

4. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

Finally after nearly 10 years of bad Halloween movies, they came back swinging with this little gem and make Michael Myers fun again. Not only that, we also got Jamie Lee Curtis back as Laurie Strode for the first time since 1981 and she was back with an absolute vengeance with maybe her best character work yet. 

Really for me, the whole movie is made so much more interesting by how Laurie has been affected since the events of Halloween II. True she does have a nice job as headmistress of a fancy boarding school, but she's also an alcoholic, had a failed marriage, and has a strained relationship with her 17 year old son as he's now the same age she was when she was attacked by Michael and is constantly worried for his safety. 

The whole cast is pretty great as we have an early role for Josh Hartnett, LL Cool J as a fun security guard with a writing hobby, and even Jamie Lee's own real life mother Janet Leigh, who of course is mostly known for her iconic role in Psycho and we even get a nice little reference to it here with a clever musical cue. 

I only have a couple of criticisms such as the crew seemingly unable to decide which mask Michael should wear, leading to him wearing 4 different masks throughout the movie which can leave a feeling of inconsistancy, and it doesn't help that one of the masks is CGI and looks weird as hell. There's also a lack of good gore and kills which would have really elevated this for me. 

Still, it's worth your time and I'd recommend checking it out if you haven't already. 

7.5/10

3. Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Before I started this list, I was confident that this one was gonna land in the middle somewhere, but I was so surprised by how much I actually enjoyed this. I mean I did watch the version that doesn't include the absolutely uneccesarry sexual assault scene in the mental institution as that one would have definitely gotten a lower score from me, but this version is a great one. 

It's the only movie to really try and delve into Michael's childhood and does spend a good 35 minutes of the runtime on this. Here you see him as a disturbed kid, killing and mutilating animals whilst his home life is an absolute wreck. My only real criticism is that the family outiside of his mother is just totally unlikeable and suffers from Rob Zombie's usual script issues. I feel like you should feel bad when Michael finally kills his older sister but really you're just relieved that she's no longer in the movie. 

I also like this version of Dr Loomis played by Malcolm McDowell, as you can tell that he genuinely does care for Michael's well being, but there's that side of him you can tell wants to become rich and famous off of Micahel's story which the sequel would end up ruining by taking it too far as it felt a little more subtle here.

The adult Michael is one of my favourite versions of the famed killer as he's just an absolute hulking brute that seems impossible to take down and his kills really have a brutal sense to them this time round. Surprisingly for a Rob Zombie movie, the gore never feels too gratuitous and only shows what you need to see. 

The second half of the film is essentially a retelling of the original movie just rushed a bit, but it's all good fun. An underrated experience for sure. 

8/10

2. Halloween (2018)

I love this movie. I've watched this every Halloween since it came out and will continue to do so. I'm probably overrating it a bit, but I don't care, this is the Halloween movie I wanted to see for YEARS. It pains me that it's two sequels were never able to match that level of excitement and love. 

Of course this movie benefits from ignoring all other sequels and pretends that only the original ever happened giving us a fresher perspective on the character. Due to multiple timelines from all the sequels and remakes, most Halloween fans have their preferred timeline of events. Mine is the orginal, followed by this movie and then we stop there, and it's pretty much perfect. 

Jamie Lee returns as a more extreme version of Laurie who's went a bit insane in the 40 years since her first encounter with Michael to the point of alienating her family and turning her entire house into a trap for a returning Michael. 

We also have a fantastic version of Michael who's been hungry for blood for 40 years and he really takes his chance to kill anything he can here, including an epic long shot of him going house to house in Haddonfield, killing as he goes. It's wonderful stuff. 

I really have nothing bad to say about it. I love this movie. 

9/10

1. Halloween (1978)

Of course it couldn't be anything else. 

This movie was and still is the greatest slasher ever released and everything after just feels like a pale imitation. Michael's presence feels like he's around every corner waiting to strike like a patient shark, the musical score is perfect and brings out your deepest anxieties, and even Jamie Lee in her one of her early roles is the perfect babysitting victim for The Shape. 

Again, another one I watch every year and never become tired of it. It's one of the main reasons I'm such a horror fan and absolutely adore Michael Myers. 

You can't kill the boogeyman. Enough said. 

10/10

Thanks for reading! And I'll be as quick as I can with the next horror franchise I'm taking on. It's a big one...

Ranked Worst to Best: Evil Dead Series

 

During the spooky month of October I continued a somewhat regaular tradition of mine of recommending a horror movie over the course of the full month. I always enjoy these as a small way of talking about horrors I've enjoyed and I've even been told by friends that they've found a hidden gem that's now one of their favourites, like 'Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon' (go watch it, it's great)

Now that October has been and gone I still had a thirst on for talking more about the movies I love, so I've decided to come back to this blog for the first time in years to continue my thoughts on these beloved movies. I love a worst to best list so will try to keep doing these for different franchises. I needed somewhere to start though, and where better than probably my favourite horror franchise of all time: The Evil Dead. 

The Evil Dead series has been around since 1981 and whilst the franchise only has 5 movies (and a 3 season TV show) to it's name; it's the most consistant horror franchise around with not a bad or even merely good movie to speak of. Sam Raimi isn't here to whore out his franchise for a cheap payday and has instead waited for the best time and best script to allow for a movie of the year contender to be unleashed onto audiences. For anyone new to this, the series mainly focuses on an isolated group terrorised by demons from hell, unleashed by the words spoken from the Book of the Dead. If you don't like gore, look elsewhere.

I've been a fan all the way back to 7 or 8 years old when my dad introduced me to the goofy brilliance that is Army of Darkness and I've been a fan ever since with each entry in the franchise making it onto my Halloween watchlist each and every year. I've never grown tired of them and never will. And now like a parent picking their favourite child, I'll need to decide which is best and which is worst. Let's begin. 

5. Evil Dead Rise (2023)

It feels unfair putting this one so low as it's still not even a year old so hasn't had the time to sink in like all the others have, but I can definitely see this moving up the list as the years go by. Hell, 2023 isn't even over yet I've already seen this 3 times and could easily go a 4th anytime soon. 

This one marked a bit of change as most of the Evil Dead movies focus on a group of teenagers in isolation, whereas as this one decides to go for a more emotional hook with a single mother and her family targeted by ancient evil spirits. 

Whilst it's not the scariest movie around, it more than makes up for it with it's gore and practical effects. I don't think there was a single CGI effect and I can't tell you how much I love that. Alyssa Sutherland's performance as deadite mother Ellie is absolutely spellbinding and outside of Ash in the previous movies, I think she may be my favourite character from the series. The way she changes from loving mother to horrific demon is brilliant and absolutely disturbing when she starts attacking her own children. 

This also features some stomach churning moments such as a character deciding to eat some glass which then nearly pokes through their neck, and you'll never be able to look at your cheese grater the same way again. Really the only negative I can come up with is that it does run out of it's momentum a bit by the end but not enough to spoil the whole experience. Overall one of the better horrors released in 2023 and more proof that the Evil Dead franchise is far from running out of steam. Hopefully we don't have to wait 10 years for the next one. 

8/10

4. Army of Darkness (1992)

Army of Darkness was my introduction to this entire franchise as a child and I can't tell you how many times I rewound the VHS tape to watch it all over again. It felt like a B-movie version of Lord of the Rings and I lapped up every second of it as the delapidated cabin in the woods is swapped out for a medievil fortress. 

This is pretty much the goofiest the franchise would ever become as horror is pretty much out the window and this is really just a straight up action/fantasy/comedy. So many franchises would not survive such a drastic change in style but it's really all held together by the performance of Bruce Campbell who takes his near over the top portrayal of Ash in Evil Dead 2 and turns it up to 11 with so many hilarious one liners and quotable moments you won't be able to forget. 

The only thing really holding this whole thing back is a lack of good gore but it makes up for it with one hell of a unique experience you owe to yourself to checkout. 

8/10

3. Evil Dead (2013)

A big part of me really wanted to put this further to the top but the next two entries and just too good and too iconic. I remembering hearing of a planned Evil Dead remake and severly balking at the idea of it considering how many sub-par remakes were around at the time. I wasn't convinced until I finally went to see it in the cinema and was shocked at just how good it was.

This wasn't some lazy cash grab to be made off of a legacy franchise; this was a passion project of a fan that was even overseen by the godfathers behind the previous instalments: Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell. In something that was very against the times, the director, Fede Alvarez, opted to do away completely with CGI and use only practical effects, making the bloodsoaked cabin feel all the more visceral in it's presentation. 

It was also a stroke of genius to have the characters out at the cabin to help one of their friends go cold turkey as it does away with the stereotypical party teens into something more believable. And when the former drug user tries to convince everyone of the danger in the woods, of course they don't believe her as she's bound to hallucinate with what she's going through. 

This is just balls to the wall violence and gore from beginning to end with not a boring moment to be had, all the way up to the fantastic final ten minutes of pure adrenaline. If you've been sleeping on this one, you need to make up for lost time and check it out ASAP. 

9/10

2. The Evil Dead (1981)

Trying to pick between the first two movies is like trying to pick between Alien and Aliens. It really just comes down to your genre preference. Like the 2013 remake this is just absolute balls to the wall mayhem and madness for 85 minutes, and given it came out in the very early 80s, I'm not surprised that it was banned in certain places and considered one of the first video nasties. Even watching it in a packed out cinema in 2023 it still manages to shock those who've never checked it out before. 

Barely any money was given to this at the time and every single penny was put to outstanding use with some of the gnarliest gore scenes ever put to film, including a cringe-inducing pencil to the ankle, and some of the best blood splatter effects out there. This is the first time we're introduced to our hero Ash and while he's not yet the quippy hero we all love, he still stands out here as the final stand against the demons of hell. 

Still an all time classic that holds up well today and is almost the best cabin in the woods style horror ever made if not for....

9/10

1. Evil Dead II (1987)

The king of the castle and not only the best Evil Dead movie, but my favourite horror movie of all time. Hell it might even be my all time favourite movie, horror or non-horror. This is the perfect balance of the Evil Dead formula with some epic one liners and hilarious moments (everything with the severed hand is golden) whilst still managing to hit a few good scares and keeps a feeling of dread throughout up until the bonkers ending. 

This is the movie that made Bruce Campbell famous with a legendary performance as Ash that somehow manages the feat of being an absolute goofball and a badass at the same time. Whilst it's a little lighter on the gore compared to the original (but not by much) it ramps up the mayhem by one hell of a notch as you barely have time to breath with the first deadite showing up barely 5 minutes in. 

This is just perfection for me and everything I want out of a horror. I've watched this at least once a year for the past 20 odd years and will continue to do so. An all timer. 

10/10

Well there's my first list in quite a while. I'm feeling very rusty but I'm hoping I'll get the hang of it soon enough, especially with my plan to cover a HUGE franchise next. Thanks for reading. 

Album Review: Architects - For Those Who Wish To Exist

 

I know in my last post I said I wasn't looking to do any new reviews any time soon, but one thing you should know about me is that I'm very fickle and will change my mind on pretty much a daily basis, plus even with this only coming out on Friday (I'm writing this on Monday) I've listened to it so many times and have heard many different opinions on it and wanted to throw in my two cents on this anticipated new release from the English metalcore legends. 

FTWWTE is the ninth studio album by Architects and follows 2018's "Holy Hell". I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan of the band as I'm more a fan of "Holy Hell"  rather than their previous work as I consider a masterpiece of metal core and a genuine 10/10 record that was just filled to the brim with absolute emotion after the death of founding member Tom Searle to the point where it felt like the band were determined to make him proud of what the band had become and I think they did a damn fine job of it. I do enjoy their previous stuff especially "All Our Gods Have Abandoned Us", but none on the level of "Holy Hell" which is pretty much my favourite album of 2018 which had my hopes up for this release. So is it any good? 

I guess that would depend on who you ask as the band have changed their sound quite a bit to the point where this is probably the least heavy album they've ever put out and of course that comes with cries of blasphemy to their traditional sound or copying other bands like Bring Me The Horizon or Linkin Park which, in my opinion, are completely unfounded, as the band hasn't changed their sound that much and feels more like an evolution. "Holy Hell" felt like the time for the band to grieve over a fallen brother but this album is the sound of a band coming out of the dark and into the light to signal a new beginning. 

That being said is FTWWTE as good as "Holy Hell"? No and it was never going to be as that was a near impossible act to follow. Is FTWWTE a great album overall? Not really but it does flirt with greatness but a few flaws let it down which is a bit disappointing but I do still like this album a lot so I'll begin with what I like about the album. 

First off, vocalist Sam Carter is allowed to show off more of his vocal range with a lot more clean singing sections in these songs whilst I've heard a few complaints that there should be more screaming, the parts that do contain screaming come across as a lot more memorable on tracks like "Black Lungs" and "Discourse is Dead" to really just add to the effect and makes the album come across as more varied as a result. 

For the metalcore fans there are still tracks that will be on your playlist for a good while like the aforementioned "Black Lungs" which whilst also being a catchy as hell single with a big chorus also features a nice breakdown at the end which is guaranteed to have the pits going when this opens their live shows in future. 

There are just so many huge tracks I love here like "Dead Butterflies" which was another single released before the album which just hits so many emotional beats for me and I find myself just wanting to scream along with the chorus with an orchestral backing which just adds to it's enormity. I also loved "Impermanence" which is easily the heaviest track on here with another huge breakdown and features a guest spot from Winston McCall from Parkway Drive who's huge voice just adds so much to that final breakdown and really puts me in the mood for some Parkway. 

Speaking of guest spots, Simon Neil of Biffy Clyro fame features on the track "Goliath" and surprised the hell out of me as I expected his inclusion to be on a softer track but I was surprised to hear him properly go for the screaming he was known for early on in Biffy's timeline around the time of Infinity Land. Nice job from my fellow Scotsman and his inclusion made this hard hitter another highlight in an album full of them. 

I'd also like to give a shout out to first single "Animals" which has been stuck in my head since I first heard it back in October last year and still packs a mighty punch with a killer main riff and a chorus that could break down fucking mountains. I won't be happy until I can hear the band play this live and I can tear out my vocal chords shouting along to it. I also love how the album ends with the last two tracks as it really does intend to end on a high note starting with final single "Meteor" which is an appropriate title for a track with a massive chorus intended to have a whole crowd jumping along to it. You can criticize the newer sound of the band all you want but they know how to write a damn catchy song. The final track "Dying is Absolutely Safe" (great title) is slowly becoming my favourite track and is on par with the final track from "Holy Hell": "Wasted Hymn". It feels like the emotional climax of the whole record and could have fit on the previous album perfectly. It's an almost completely acoustic track that just builds and builds to one hell of crescendo complete with orchestral backing to really take it to the next level. 

And now we come to the flaws. I feel like I say this all the time when I'm being critical of particular records, but this record is just too damn long at 58 minutes and there are some tracks that come across as filler because of it. I mean 15 tracks is a lot for one album and I feel like if they had just cut out a few of the tracks and kept the record closer to the length of "Holy Hell" then the whole record would be much more memorable and would have taken it to that next level but as it is it's just another very good release to add to the discography. I love where the band is going but I hope in future they are able to contain themselves a bit. Tracks like "Little Wonders" are fine but float a bit too close to that Bullet For My Valentine "Gravity" sound that didn't quite work out and tracks like "Demi God" and "An Ordinary Extinction" feel like they're missing something to take them to the next level and end of forgettable and slow the album down a bit when the momentum really should keep going. 

Aside from that though there isn't much to complain about as this is a damn good release that really should be a great release, but like I say, it's a new beginning for a band that needed it and I look forward to seeing where this record takes them next. I'll be sure to keep an eye on it. This definitely won't be for everyone as I know fans of the band that really do not like this, but give it a try, you might just find yourself surprised. 

Overall rating: 7/10

Tracks to check out: Black Lungs, Dead Butterflies, Impermanence, Animals, Meteors, Dying is Absolutely Safe

Thanks for reading and if you have any new or even old albums you'd like me to check out and possibly review then be sure to leave a comment or even leave a band name you'd like to see for my Worst to Best series whilst I'm still trying to decide between Bring Me The Horizon or the daunting 18 album discography of the mighty Judas Priest.