Ross's Reviews - Annabelle: Creation

So Annabelle: Creation is a prequel to a movie that was already a prequel for the first Conjuring movie. Normally that would be the kiss of death for a horror film, or any film for that matter, but how does it work here? Let's take a look.

No spoilers here.

I should point out that I'm really not a fan at all of the 2014 Annabelle release and I don't plan on reviewing it anytime soon. All you need to know is that's not scary and it's not interesting at all. Thankfully it's not really required watch this so I'd recommend you avoid it.

The story follows couple Samuel and Esther Mullins twelve years on from the tragic death of their young daughter known as Bee. They decide to take in a few girls from an orphanage to fill the silence of their house, but little do they know that the girls arrival will awaken something evil that's been lying dormant for some time.

Let's take a look at the characters first as it seems like there's a lot but there's only a couple you need to  take note of. Samuel and Esther are played by Anthony LaPaglia and Miranda Otto respectively and while these actors are most likely the best performers, they really don't have much to do here except spout exposition and look slightly creepy.

The child actors were surprisingly good, especially Talitha Bateman who played a girl crippled with Polio called Janice and she was easily my favourite character.

You really feel for her straight away due to her illness and how she's treated differently by the other girls because she can't keep up with him. The movie does kind of ruin it later on but that's a bit of a spoiler.

There's also her friend Linda, played by Lulu Wilson who also gave a good performance in the surprisingly good Ouija 2, who is honestly the only other child character I gave a damn about.

There are the two older girls who are honestly just unlikable throughout and I really didn't care what happened to them when the horrors came after them.

There are two other girls but I can't remember a single thing they did in the movie and they could have been left out without affecting the overall film at all.

There's also Sister Charlotte, played by Stephanie Sigman, who was also pretty forgettable and didn't much of importance until we reached the finale.

As for the actual spooky moments, I hated the cheap jumpscares here. It seems like every 'scary' moment during the first 20 minutes is just a fake out of some other character making a loud noise out of nowhere which really annoyed me.

Thankfully that didn't last too long as when this film really wanted to ramp up the tension, it could be enough to make you bite your fingernails clean off.

The movie is similar to the Conjuring movies in that it does use loud noises for a lot of it's scary moments, but for the most part they are used very well, mostly to make the doll and the demon possessing her seem even scarier than they already are.

No spoilers but if you're like me and have an irrational fear of scarecrows (who the hell doesn't) then you're gonna have a bad time here.

There is one scene that's meant to come across as scary but ended up being way more funny than anything as it definitely feels like a rip off or spoof of The Evil Dead complete with the evil being yelling "Your soul". It is pretty ridiculous.

The climax itself was pretty disappointing as well as it felt like it was building up to something huge and then the movie just kind of ends and you're left there feeling like you missed a part.

Overall I will say that I enjoyed this movie for the most part. The pacing might be slightly off at times and most of the characters aren't that interesting, but the general creepy factor and genuine scares make up for it big time. It'll be one worth watching come next Halloween.

Verdict: 6/10

Ross's Reviews: IT (2017)

You'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float tooYou'll float too

But seriously though how do you look at that image and not get instant nightmares forever?

To say I went into this movie with high expectations is a bit of an understatement. For months we've had insanely good trailers that left me craving more and an insanely high amount of positive reviews from not only critics but the legend that is Stephen King himself.

And thankfully I can say that not only did the movie meet my expectations, but it pretty much shattered them in the process. Let's take a look and see why that is.

No spoilers here.

The story follows a group of friends known affectionately as The Losers Club as they investigate the mysterious disappearances of many other kids in the community of Derry, Maine. After some supernatural experiences they begin to realise that they're dealing with a being that means only to bring fear and death into their lives.

The Losers Club is made up of seven individuals which does seem like a lot but by the end I realised just how unique they all were and how they added to the story and characters in their own little ways.

While all of them were terrific in their roles, the real standout was Richie, played by Finn Wolfhard who is most famous for his starring role as Mike in Stranger Things. He definitely brought the most laughs in the film and even brought the emotion when needed. This kid is definitely talented.

I was surprised by just how funny this movie was as it was better than a lot of modern comedies by far. The main humour comes from the banter between the Losers Club and it's definitely great throughout.

Normally this would bring down the effectiveness of a horror, but if anything it only increases the tension as you really begin to relate and care about the characters, so much so that you really don't want to see them get hurt or put in any danger.

The danger doesn't only come from the supernatural force haunting the kids though, as the adults of the town can seem just as villainous. I don't think there was one adult here I found likeable as they ranged from severely overprotective to abusive to sexually creepy, all the way to a mix of all three.

But I know we all came to see this movie for one reason: Pennywise

This was where the movie was gonna make or break. Could someone really honour the performance of an all time horror icon in Tim Curry's version of Pennywise? The answer is yes, and to be honest I prefer this iteration of Pennywise.

Don't get me wrong Curry's version was subtle and creepy, but there's just something about Bill Skarsgard's performance that crawls under my skin and stays there.

There's one scene in particular which you'll have seen in the trailer, where Pennywise takes over a projector to freak out our young heroes and believe me, those images will stay in my mind for a long time.

The opening scene was a perfect introduction to the monster as it's the recreation of the classic scene featuring Georgie losing his paper boat down a sewer opening and coming face to face with Pennywise. I won't spoil what happens but it is surprisingly shocking and let's you know that Pennywise is not to be messed with.

Again without spoiling, I did enjoy the finale as well as after two hours of buildup and suspense, it really does give you some satisfaction.

Overall this was a fantastic movie worth going out of your way to see whether you're a fan of horror or not. It has everything I could want from a movie and then some. While a couple of scenes are out of place and there are some small flaws here and there, it isn't enough to derail the juggernaut that is IT. This might be my new favourite movie of the year.

Verdict: 
Funny, scary, heartfelt, and exceptionally entertaining, IT is a thrilling experience for all fans of film and it's worth checking out again and again. Come join us and we'll all float together.

9/10

Ross's Horror Reviews: The Conjuring

I've taken a long break since my days at FPG News but I'm back with some reviews incoming and for the time being I'll be looking into my favourite genre: horror.

With the recent release of Annabelle: Creation , which I've yet to see, I thought I'd take a look into this now acclaimed franchise, starting from the very first one released in 2013.

No spoilers here.

The Conjuring starts Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga as Ed and Lorraine Warren who are demonologists that investigate residential hauntings to help those troubled by the supernatural. These are characters based on the real life investigators of the same name.

In this film they seek to help The Perron family who have moved into a new house when things begin to go bump in the night and it only gets worse from here.

I have to say that I do love the first five minutes of the movie as it introduces us to the characters of Ed and Lorraine with them working on a recent case. And this case just happens to involve a possessed doll known as Annabelle.

It's a very impactful scene as it sets the tone for the rest of the movie while also giving us one of the scariest moments in the film with Annabelle haunting the residents of the apartment. It was so good that it led to Annabelle getting two feature films of her own, the first of which I may look into next. Thankfully these opening moments wouldn't be the last we would see of her.

So I will admit that the story can be slightly cliche as it begins as you have all the classic signs of a haunted house movie and it does feel a bit like The Amityville Horror in the early stages. It doesn't help that we have the usual story point of the youngest member of the family acting like the evil spirit is an imaginary friend which seems to happen in these movies way too much.

As a tip, if you move into a place that doesn't feel quite right and then your dog mysteriously dies, you may want to rethink unpacking those boxes.

These are only minor quibbles though as the movie ramps up the tension from the get go and never releases you. I've got to be honest when I say that this is one of the scariest movies I've ever seen and I've never had a feeling of dread quite like it while watching.

Thankfully it drops more modern horror movie tropes of cheap, loud jumpscares by actually scaring the hell out of you with long, quiet scenes, just knowing that something bad is about to happen. Finger nails will be bitten I can assure you.

It does use loud noises to bring across some frightening moments but these are used sparingly and only when you're supposed to be scared. The soundtrack helps with this as well as composer Joseph Bishara did an excellent job, and even sitting here listening to it on Spotify is quite the eerie experience.

The acting performances should be commended too as Wilson and Farmiga shine as the demonologists and Lili Taylor may have been the standout as the Perron family mother, Carolyn, as she did have what must have been the most difficult performance. With these movies sometimes the child actors can be the death of the film but all the girls here were excellent as you could really feel their fear during some intense scenes.

I don't want to go into too much detail on the scares as there are many and I wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't yet watched it. One scene that does stand out though is the one featured in the trailer with Carolyn investigating noises from the cellar. I won't go into too much detail but it may be the freakiest scene in the entire film and almost guaranteed to have you losing a good night's sleep.

James Wan is the director on hand and he once again shows his penchant for horror as his work is just masterful. From the timing of the scares to pin point camera angles, everything just worked here. He knows how to get inside his audience's head and he knows how to frighten once he's in there.

The movie is 111 minutes long and somehow it doesn't let up for a single second as there's a feeling of dread no matter what's happening on screen. It feels like there's something watching every movement, waiting to strike at the right time and god is it unnerving.

The finale also gave a satisfying ending after so much buildup and once again the tension was just through the roof.

If you haven't seen this one I'd highly recommend it as it is one of my favourite horror movies and a guaranteed fright fest for anyone that hasn't seen it before. Just make sure you don't watch it alone.

Outstanding.

Overall rating: 9/10

Year in Review 2004: Smackdown: January 1st

So long story short, I've missed reviewing wrestling a lot. I was looking to do a complete year in review with every Raw and every Smackdown with the PPVs in between. I thought I'd go with 2004 seeing as this was the year I first became a wrestling fan so it should be pretty nostalgic to me.

Also here's a quick plug for the site where I write movie reviews on a weekly basis: fpgnews.com
There you can find more content about wrestling, gaming, music and some other great stuff.

So let's start with the first WWE show of 2004.


We first take a look back at last week where Hardcore Holly was forced to partner with an injured Shannon Moore to face Matt Morgan and A-Train. If he lost, his career was over. If he won, he got a shot at Brock Lesnar with the WWE Title on the line.

I wish I'd watched that episode actually as that match looked pretty good and made Holly look like a solid contender. Holly vs Lesnar is now official for the Royal Rumble PPV.

Rey Mysterio vs Tajiri: Cruiserweight Championship Match

Good choice to kick off the first WWE show of 2004. I love seeing Tajiri coming to the ring with Akio and Sakota like some second rate Yakuza. Michael Cole promises a big surprise for later tonight. Of course Mysterio started the match with some high risk moves as you'd expect, while Tajiri's back up distracts the ref to put Rey at a disadvantage.

The commercial break did ruin the flow a bit as usual. This was a pretty good opening match as they kept the fast pace going throughout and we got some good false finishes towards the end as well. I do think it could have been saved for the Rumble as the finish showed Rey overcoming all three men against him, and picking up another Cruiserweight Title win.

Rating: **3/4

After the match, Mysterio says he's happy to win the Title and wishes everyone a Happy New Year. This brings out The Big Show for a talk.

Actually he's out here to shill a new piece of merchandise. It's a t-shirt saying 'Chicks Dig It Big'. Oh god did that really exist? Rey steals it from him and throws it into the crowd. That leads to brawl with Show getting the upper hand. Hardcore Holly makes the save and Show eats a 619.

Show on the mic was pretty bad but it was a fun segment that the crowd enjoyed. Plus it sets up a potential match for later.

We're now backstage and Big Show is enraged. He smashes the place up and Paul Heyman runs in to stop him. He makes a match for later between Show and Holly. Could be fun.


Bradshaw vs Rhyno

Who could have ever guessed at this point that Bradshaw would be the WWE Champion in the next five months. Bradshaw's looking for revenge for his partner Faarooq as Rhyno beat him last week with a low blow. Apparently this is the rubber match.

The match only lasted about a minute with Bradshaw winning with the Clothesline from Hell. I thought it would be short but I didn't think it would be that short. Decent power match while it lasted at least but it made Rhyno look like a jobber.

Rating: 1/2*

We now have a montage video showing the WWE Superstars visiting the troops in Baghdad.

Backstage, John Cena berates Paul Heyman for not coming over to visit the troops with the rest of the Smackdown stars. In response to this, Heyman gives Cena and a partner of his choice a match against all three members of the FBI in a handicap match. If Cena and his partner lose, then they're out of the Rumble match.


The Full Blooded Italians vs John Cena & Chris Benoit

Good partner choice from John there. It's still weird seeing Cena with his thuganomics gimmick, getting the crowd to swear for him. Hard to believe he'd be the king of PG in a few years.

This was pretty one-sided to start with as The FBI totally cornered Cena. I did like that Benoit never hesitated to break up any pin on Cena as you could see he was desperate to enter the Rumble. The match was another short one but it was fun while it lasted, especially once Benoit got the hot tag and cleared the ring. Some more good false finishes as well. Benoit makes Stamboli tap to the crossface to earn his and Cena's tickets to the Rumble match.

Rating: **1/4


Kurt Angle is back! I had no idea he was away and how long he was away for. He's happy to be back. He wants to thank the troops as he felt proud to be an American after visiting a few weeks ago. He praises all the soldiers having to take time away from their families to fight for the USA. Kurt's not a soldier, he's a wrestler and he's gonna kick ass in the US. He official enters himself into the Rumble match.

A damn good, passionate speech from Angle. If I didn't know who won the 2004 Rumble, I would have put him as the favourite.


Hardcore Holly vs The Big Show

Good luck to you Mr Holly. I should probably also mention that Show is the current US Champ as this point.

Like all Big Show matches around this time, this was pretty slow. Show looked like he was totally out of breath just two minutes in. So basically nothing much happened until Mysterio showed up with a steel chair. Show got rid of him quite easily and then Holly kicked him in the balls to end the match in a DQ. Holly almost goes full heel when he assaults Show with the chair and busts him open.

Kind of makes me feel sympathetic for the big guy.

Rating: 1/4*

Billy Gunn is returning at the Royal Rumble. Was that really considered a big deal?

Chris Benoit is backstage to laugh at Heyman now that he gets to enter the Rumble match. It was probably a bad idea to gloat seeing as Heyman makes him the number one entrant in the Rumble match. Don't worry I think it'll work out fine.

Backstage, Eddie and Chavo Guerrero have an argument about Eddie wanting to enter the Rumble match. Chavo thinks he's being selfish and they need to work on being a successful tag team.


Los Guerreros vs The World's Greatest Tag Team

I remember these guys had a bunch of good matches in 2003, so I was hoping that this one would be the same.

It was fine, but this one was focused more on the story as Chavo had multiple chances to tag Eddie into the match but refused to do so and fought the match on his own. It took Eddie having to hilariously drag Chavo to the corner to tag himself in. The match was pretty short but it was decent while it lasted. Chavo tried to copy Eddie by going for a frog splash but it backfired and he ate a superkick to end the match.

Rating: **

Chavo takes the mic and blames Eddie for the loss. He feels disrespected as Eddie gets all the attention from the crowd. He's sick of Eddie and slaps him in the face. Eddie fights with his emotions and tries to strike Chavo, but Kurt Angle of all people comes out to stop any fighting.

Backstage Eddie is angry and wants to find Chavo. Angle tries to calm him down and pretty much fails in doing that.

And that's the end of the show. Slightly anti-climatic there.

All in all it wasn't a bad show. There's couple of decent matches in there and we got some angle advancement for the Rumble PPV as a couple of matches have now been set up. We've also got a few entrants for the Rumble match confirmed as well.

I'll give it a 6/10

Sausage Party Review

What the hell did I just witness?

I have a feeling that's what most people will be saying once they leave the theatre after this one. I'd heard that the climax was pretty insane and those people were not lying.

I am getting ahead of myself though so let's start at the beginning.

No spoilers by the way.

The movie stars Seth Rogen as Frank the hot dog, and Kristen Wiig and as Brenda the bun. The story follows Frank as he tries to convince the whole Shopwell supermarket that the outside world is not the heaven they believe it to be, as every bit of food that walks out the front doors ends up dead or worse (as noted by a discarded condom).

First off the animation is fantastic and easily looks like something Dreamworks would come up with and even a hint of Pixar. It's strong throughout and I have no issues regarding it at all. We even get some hand drawn animations at one point.

I'll admit it is kind of difficult reviewing a comedy movie as it only ever really comes down to is it funny or not. The quick answer for this one would be yes. Overall it was a very funny movie and had no moments of boredom or humour. 

Of course you will find SO many food puns and jokes, some of which land and some just sit there awkwardly. There is one about Meatloaf that did have me giggling and I'm sure you can guess it.

The comedy won't be for everyone though. If you've seen any other Seth Rogen comedy you'll know what to expect, a ton of swearing, sex, and drug jokes. If you didn't like that before, this movie won't change your mind.

The movie was actually surprisingly deep throughout and has a commentary on the concept of religion and even a good message of respecting everyone's beliefs, no matter what you believe to be stone cold fact. It also shows that you shouldn't let your beliefs hold you back from doing what you want in life, as Brenda is constantly battling with her emotions as she wants to have a sexual relationship with Frank but feels that the Gods will be angered by her actions.

You also have a lesbian taco (played by Selma Hayek) who wants to give into her urges of being with another female but again does not want the Gods to be angered with her "sins".

The story throughout is pretty entertaining and it was entertaining to see how the foods would fare against the Gods known as humans. It really made me feel bad about eating my hot dog before the movie.

I know this wasn't a long review but that's all I have to say about it and would recommend it for anyone that enjoys a good, dirty comedy. It's totally worth watching for the last twenty minutes alone. Plus it is something different and you won't see many animated features like this.

Be warned though, you're probably better off seeing this alone because after seeing a particularly raunchy part of the movie, you'll never be able to look the person you came with in the eye again. 

Rating: B

Iron Man Review

So this will now be the first of my comic book movie reviews (not counting Deadpool) as I'm mainly going to focus on the MCU, DC Movies, all other Marvel Movies not in the MCU and some others like Watchmen and Hellboy. So let's kick it off with the first official movie of the MCU: Iron Man.

Actually I'm not sure if this does count as the first as Ang Lee's Hulk technically is the first one as that story continues into The Incredible Hulk (kind of I guess) but I think I'll be doing that one next so that I can have both Hulk movies finished. Anyway onto the review.

WARNING: There will be spoilers ahead.


Iron Man was released in 2008, directed by the excellent Jon Favreau, starring Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark, Jeff Bridges as Obediah Stane, and Gwenyth Paltrow as Pepper Pots.

I have to admit when I first saw this movie back in 2009 on DVD, I wasn't that enamoured with it. I enjoyed it enough, but at the time it completely flew under my radar as I was in love with The Dark Knight at that point and there was no other superhero film for me and every other one felt inadequate in comparison.

I now realise that I was a dumb kid, and after watching this again in a clearer light, I can admit that it's bloody awesome. I didn't think it would hold up after we've had classics like Civil War and Avengers but it's definitely still one of the highlights of the entire MCU.

There was a lot if weight put on the film's shoulders as it was the one that had to start off the MCU with a bang and have everyone looking forward to future instalments. It basically had the same job that Batman vs Superman had this year except that this one was actually successful.

The story follows millionaire, playboy, philanthropist and the owner of the weapon-making Stark Industries, Tony Stark as he is demonstrating some powerful new missiles for the army when a terrorist group ambushes the group and kidnaps Tony.

Tony is put in a room with another prisoner known as Yenson and they are tasked with building another powerful missile for the terrorists. Of course Tony says to hell with that and builds the first, bulky Iron Man suit to escape.

Unfortunately Yenson doesn't make it as he sacrifices himself to give Tony more time. I loved the first part of the movie here as the action begins straight away and keeps the tension going throughout as you keep worrying that the terrorists will notice what Tony is up to and put a stop to it. There's also some torture scenes which was surprisingly dark for this kind of movie.

It's Yenson's death that really marks Tony's change in character as he completely stops Stark Industries from building weapons and looks to greener pastures for the company. Of course this doesn't make him popular to the rest of the world or to his board of directors, but he is doing the right thing.

I won't go too in depth to the story as from here as it goes to Tony building the proper Iron Man suit that we all know and love, while his former friend Obediah tries to take him down. It does sound pretty basic but it completely works, even if the same villain aspect would get tiresome in later movies (looking at you Ant Man).

Let's have a look at the actors. Needless to say, Downey Jr was just perfect as Tony Stark. This role completely gave him a career resurgence and for good reason. He does quip and make a lot of jokes and just about all of them land. He can hit the serious moments as well, as we would also see in later movies. I honestly can't see anyone else playing this role. Knocked it out of the park.

Gwenyth Paltrow was great as Pepper and has good chemistry with Downey Jr. She just acts as his assistant most of the time, but with her performance you can see that there's some deeper feelings there.

Jeff Bridges was a good, asshole villain that could act like your everyday sleazy business man, but later showed to be something a bit more evil.

You also have Terence Howard as Stark's best friend Rhodes. He was fine in the role, but this was his only appearance as he would be swapped for Don Cheadle in the sequel. I do actually prefer Don as Rhodes so I'm fine with that.

Everything in this movie hit and I really have no issues with it aside from the climax where we get the typical 'villain making a speech to the hero before killing him and that then leads to his downfall'. I really get sick of that in movies.

But still, the action was incredible, the comedy hit and even the plot felt refreshing as this one didn't have the threat of a city or the world being at stake. It was a personal story through and through. Even people that don't enjoy these kinds of movies can find something that they like.

Overall this is a fantastic superhero movie and still is one of the very best around. A perfect start to the MCU and it would be a while before it would be topped. I think this rating is earned.

Rating: A+

Deadpool Review

Can I just quickly mention that I have the great soundtrack of this movie on in the background and listening to 'Angel of the Morning' again is bringing a huge smile to my face.

Deadpool is a Marvel (not studios) movie featuring who else but the one and only Deadpool. The basic plot of the movie is his revenge against those that gave him his amazing powers and fuck-ugly face.

Ryan Reynolds is in the starring role and in my opinion was the perfect choice for the part. I honestly cannot see anyone else in the role and I'm glad the casting crew didn't get scared after his appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which is a movie I'll get to another time.

Needless to say, this movie is an apology from Fox for that disastrous move, and believe me when I say, it was totally worth the wait.

This movie is just fantastic, and for Deadpool fans, it's pretty much everything you wanted it to be. I would say about 90% of all the jokes land (which is A LOT, believe me) and even people who may not get the various references to other movies the Marvel Universe and just the movie world in general will still find this movie funny as hell. The opening credits alone are golden.

The story isn't too much to write home about, but no one should really care about that in a movie like this. The story isn't terrible at all and it does actually feel very refreshing since just about every superhero movie since the first Avengers has been about the destruction of Earth in some way. Here it's just a personal revenge story.

I have to give credit to the pacing as well as it uses the old trick of showing events in the past mixing with current events, just like Man of Steel did except way better. It's a great move and it gives you a break at the perfect time from the current action and the origin story of Deadpool. I never found myself bored during the entire thing and I'm sure I'll laugh my ass off on a second viewing.

The supporting parts are great as Colossus works great as the guy trying to get Mr Pool on the side of good and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (best mutant name ever) who is the butt of most of Deadpool's jokes.

TJ Miller does a great job of being Weasel, Deadpool's only real friend. I also enjoyed Morena Baccarin as Deadpool's love interest as she's definitely a departure from most other love interests seeing as she starts the film off as a prostitute.

The only character I felt was flawed was Ed Skrein as Ajax (Francis!) who was just unmemorable as the main villain and felt like he was only there because he can match mutant powers with Deadpool. Still he wasn't bad and did well with the material he was given.

I'm trying so hard not to spoil anything because this is a movie you should see without knowing too much going in. I had a blast with Deadpool and I know I will again once I see it again in cinema and when it comes out on Blu Ray. Without a doubt, a superhero classic and one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

I think it's safe to say that this was my favourite Marvel experience since the first Avengers.

Great action, great comedy, great everything. Deadpool is here to stay.

Oh yeah, and remember to stay afterwards for a great end credit scene.

Anyone else craving a chimichanga right now?