Ranked Worst to Best: Halloween

 

So now that we have the easy ranking out of the way with the Evil Dead series, it's time to move on to another favourite even if it contains some of my least favourite horror movies ever made: the Halloween series. We're talking AT LEAST 4 different timelines here. 

Now just to get it out of the way; most of these Halloween ranking lists do include Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, but I'm going to omit it here as I just want to have Michael Myers focused list. I do like Halloween 3 but not quite as much as other people. Would get like a 7/10 from me and would be higher up on the list for sure.

For a bit of backstory, I've loved this franchise since I was a kid and regularly come back to it, especially in the month of October. Michael Myers has always been my favourite iconic horror character so I always await a new entry in the franchise with baited breath. There are 12 movies here in all in very varying quality from 1978 all the way up to 2022 with many different takes on his origin and motivation for killing.

There will be some spoilers.

Anyway, this is a long one, so let's start with what might be my least favourite horror movie of all time:

12. Halloween Ends (2022)

Now I know there are some people (not a lot) that like this movie, but I need to ask; how? I already hated this movie the first time I saw it in cinema last year. In preparation of this list, I decided to give it a fresh watch and another chance as I had been thinking I may have been too harsh on it. I'm glad I did because it turns out I hated it even more on the second go round. By the way I will be spoiling the whole film if you haven't seen it already. 

I will admit that it does start well enough with an opening sequence that completely plays with the audience's expections and ends in almost hilariously brutal fashion, but it's all downhill from here. For a start, the rest of the film is set 4 years after the events of Halloween Kills, and Laurie Strode (played well by Jamie Lee Curtis yet again) is just living her best life. The same Laurie Strode that spent 40 years in Halloween 2018 preparing for Michael Myers to come back to the point of making her own home a trap for him and lost custody of her daughter due to her extreme upbringing. The same Laurie Strode that lost a ton of friends to the hands of Myers on the night he came back including her own daughter, now just doesn't care. Even with Michael on the loose. No home traps, no protection for her granddaughter. Nothing. Strike one. 

Then we have the main focus of the movie in new character Corey. After being accused of murder and the whole town hating him, he someone absorbs Michael's powers and becomes the new Haddonfield killer whilst also dating Laurie's granddaughter Alison. And yes this romance feels forced as hell. So the first time I watched this, whilst I wasn't thrilled about Micahel Myers being a background character in his own movie (and looking weak as hell the entire time) I was interested to see where this new take would go. After about 90 minutes of building up Corey, he just dies and the movie completely forgets about him, making the previous 90 mins feel totally pointless and filler to get to what everyone came to see. Strike two. 

And then we have the finale that the trailers promised us; the final battle between Laurie and Michael. Whilst I actually do enjoy their fight scene for as short as it is, due to the movie having less than 5 minutes of screen time for Michael before this moment, it just doesn't feel earned and after having my time wasted I just didn't care. The last time these two great characters will likely be on screen together and I just didn't care. Strike three.

I hate this movie. The only positives I have are a couple of decent kills and the fact that it's not a complete bore for it's near 2 hour runtime. 

2/10 and that's being generous.

11. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

A couple of years ago, I bought this movie on Amazon Video as it was one of the only movies in the series I had yet to watch. I'd always heard how bad it was but on first watch, I actually quite enjoyed it and didn't see what the big deal was. Cut to this week when I'm checking it out for the second time for the purposes of this list and now I get it; this movie sucks. 

Famously there are 2 cuts of this movie with Producer's cut released years later but it really doesn't make the Theatrical cut any better outside of a more sensible ending which is still dumb as hell. This one continues the story started in Halloween 4 with Michael hunting down his niece Jamie which started well with him being a clever killer, but here, it's clear he's been trying to kidnap her for the purpose of breeding her for a cult that's been controlling him this whole time. Also when you realise this takes place 6 years after Halloween 5, that would make Jamie 15 years old and it's heavily implied that Michael was the one doing the impregnating which is just all kinds of wrong. Plus after building up Jamie as a character for 2 movies, she's brutally killed 20 minutes into this. 

It doesn't help that with Michael  being controlled by this cult, it really makes him feel more like a background character in his own movie and just doesn't feel like much of a threat. This is also one of Paul Rudd's earliest roles as a returning Tommy Doyle and whilst I love Paul, he's pretty bad in this and trying too hard to be creepy. We also have Donald Pleasance back for a fifth time as Dr Loomis and his presence just feels tired at this point, though sadly Donald would pass away before the film was even released. 

Really this is such a forgettable movie as I watched it only a few days before writing this and I barely remember anything about it outside of a couple of kills. It does pick up towards the end but the first 45 minutes are pretty damn dull. This would be my least favourite if Ends didn't piss me off so much.

3/10

10. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Before Halloween Ends came out, this was always my least favourite in the series. Whilst I'm still not a fan, it's not quite the all time bad one I remember. Don't get me wrong, the first hour is an absolute snooze fest but it does pick up in the finale in the Myers House with a tense chase between Michael and Jamie.

After the awesome twist ending of Halloween 4, this really failed to live up to a potential new premise. Whilst Donald Pleasance is always fun to watch, the former voice of reason from the original has become an absolute madman, even to the point of threatening young kids. Uncomfortable to watch sometimes. 

Even it's intro is non-sensical with some random guy in a hut looking after Michael for a year while he recovers from his wounds which is never explained and Michael just ends up killing him anyway. Not much else to say. Borefest.

4/10

9.  Rob Zombie's Halloween II (2009)

Before writing this list I thought this one would have ended up higher as I remember thinking it quite underrated but on second viewing, this is a weird ass film. It definitely feels like Rob Zombie getting his creative juices going to make the most unconventional Halloween movie but it just feels too bloated with ideas. 

The best part of the movie comes towards the beginning with Michael chasing an injured Laurie Strode through a hospital in a callback to the original sequel, but it ends up being a way too long dream sequence that ends up pretty pointless. Zombie also seems to have a vendetta against the iconic mask as he barely wears the damn thinng and by the end, half of it is missing. He also goes way overboard with the visions of Michael's dead mother and the pale white horse that just left me sighing by the end. Not to mention that the script can be very cringey especially with one conversation by 2 paramedics that just feels overtly grotesque. 

Also this is easily my least favourite portrayal of Dr Loomis. It's performed well by the always incredible Malcolm McDowell, but this version of a fame hungry diva just doesn't work for me and it feels like his comeuppance by the end just isn't enough. 

I will say that the movie does make up for it's shortcomings with a ton of gore and absolutely brutal kill scenes. This might be the most bloodfilled of the entire series. Overall though, despite being strange it's just so forgettable and I feel that Zombie is capable of more. 

5/10

8. Halloween Resurrection (2002)

I'm probably gonna get a lot of flack for not having this right at the bottom, but this is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. 

Fun fact: this is the first Halloween film I ever watched when I was around 10 years old and I've loved Michael Myers ever since. With hindsight I can say that objectively this isn't a good movie, but I still find a good bit of enjoyment in it. 

Most of the hate comes from the intro with Jamie Lee Curtis being killed off within the first 15 minutes of the runtime likely because she couldn't be arsed with a full movie. Not only that but it does ruin the great ending of Halloween H20 with Michael seemingly killed off for good only for it to turn out that he swapped his body for a paramedic's and managed to escape. Lame but the actual asylum chase is pretty fun and it wouldn't be the last we'd see of Jamie Lee as Laurie so it gets a pass. 

The rest of the movie is pretty much Michael killing off a bunch of annoying (and I mean ANNOYING) teens but sometimes that's all I need from these movies and most of the kills are pretty fun. I do hate Busta Rhymes in this though as he's so over the top and the fact that he manages to kick Michael Myers' ass TWICE is insulting. Fun and short movie though.

5/10

7. Halloween Kills (2021)

Talk about a mixed bag. 

I've seen this movie three times now, and everytime it's like a diminishing return. I've went from loving it, to thinking it pretty good and now to thinking it's decent. It doesn't help that Halloween Ends ruined the potential anticipation from the ending of this movie but I try my best to move on from that travesty. 

What I do love about this movie is Michael himself. This might be my favourite version of him as he's just absolutely sadistic in this, and if not for Rob Zombie's Halloween II, this would easily be the goriest one of all. The scene of him emerging from a flaming house in the rain, ready to take on a squad of firefighters with his awesome half-torched mask is just so iconic to me that if the rest of the movie felt like this, it would easily be in my top three. Plus, the flashback scenes to show what happened after the events of the original are pretty neat.

Where the movie loses me is outside of Michael as there's a heavy focus on mob mentality from the town members feeling enraged by the mere thought of Michael Myers but it just feels like it goes on and on forever only for most of them to end up butchered anyway. And don't get me started on the whole "Evil Dies Tonight" thing. Total cringe everytime. 

Not to mention THAT hospital scene with the mob chasing down an escaped asylum patient thinking it's Michael when he looks absolutely nothing like him. They try and play it as an emotional, sad scene only for it to end in a bloody mess that almost feels comedic and out of tone with the situation. 

Still, I can enjoy this one for the most part. 

6.5/10

6. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

This one is another case of me owning this movie on VHS as a young lad and just watching it over and over again, though unlike Resurrection, this one still holds up pretty well. 

I will say that it has possibly the worst looking Michael Myer's ever with the goofiest looking mask and weird hunched shoulders the entire runtime. 

This does continue the new tradition of Michael hunting down a family member, this time in 8 year old niece Jamie which does add a bit of extra tension, given the feeling of helplessness added with a child. We also have her sister Rachel who's one of the better characters in the whole series as she actually feels likeable the entire runtime. 

Michael also comes across a little more devious here as he intentionally cuts off the entire towns phone line and power just to make it easier to stalk and kill, even going so far as to take out an entire police station which I wish had been on camera. There's even a scene where he has a shotgun, and instead of shooting it, impales someone with it! Love it. 

It also has one hell of a twish ending that comes out of nowhere and leaves intrigue for the next installment, even though that one would ultimately fail to follow up. I would say it's a tad slow at times but it makes up for it when needed. 

7/10

5. Halloween II (1981)

I don't think there was ever meant to be a sequel to the original Halloween, but after the slasher genre became a crazr thanks to that and the original Friday the 13th, they kind of had to. 

This is one I still watch regularly as it makes a nice companion piece to the first by continuing on right where the first one left off so you can watch them both in one sitting to make it feel like one big story. With the way it's filmed it even has the same feel as the original, even if Michael's look isn't quite as good as it was the first time round. 

This was also the movie that made the reveal (for better or worse) that Michael was Laurie's brother which would affect most installments going forward and would define Michael's character for a couple of decades. 

It does try a little too hard to be like the original and pales in comparison but is still a fun time regardless, with some good kills including one of my favourites in a hydrotherapy pool that comes across as absolutely sickening with melted skin and gnarly effects. It's a good time. 

7.5/10

4. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

Finally after nearly 10 years of bad Halloween movies, they came back swinging with this little gem and make Michael Myers fun again. Not only that, we also got Jamie Lee Curtis back as Laurie Strode for the first time since 1981 and she was back with an absolute vengeance with maybe her best character work yet. 

Really for me, the whole movie is made so much more interesting by how Laurie has been affected since the events of Halloween II. True she does have a nice job as headmistress of a fancy boarding school, but she's also an alcoholic, had a failed marriage, and has a strained relationship with her 17 year old son as he's now the same age she was when she was attacked by Michael and is constantly worried for his safety. 

The whole cast is pretty great as we have an early role for Josh Hartnett, LL Cool J as a fun security guard with a writing hobby, and even Jamie Lee's own real life mother Janet Leigh, who of course is mostly known for her iconic role in Psycho and we even get a nice little reference to it here with a clever musical cue. 

I only have a couple of criticisms such as the crew seemingly unable to decide which mask Michael should wear, leading to him wearing 4 different masks throughout the movie which can leave a feeling of inconsistancy, and it doesn't help that one of the masks is CGI and looks weird as hell. There's also a lack of good gore and kills which would have really elevated this for me. 

Still, it's worth your time and I'd recommend checking it out if you haven't already. 

7.5/10

3. Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Before I started this list, I was confident that this one was gonna land in the middle somewhere, but I was so surprised by how much I actually enjoyed this. I mean I did watch the version that doesn't include the absolutely uneccesarry sexual assault scene in the mental institution as that one would have definitely gotten a lower score from me, but this version is a great one. 

It's the only movie to really try and delve into Michael's childhood and does spend a good 35 minutes of the runtime on this. Here you see him as a disturbed kid, killing and mutilating animals whilst his home life is an absolute wreck. My only real criticism is that the family outiside of his mother is just totally unlikeable and suffers from Rob Zombie's usual script issues. I feel like you should feel bad when Michael finally kills his older sister but really you're just relieved that she's no longer in the movie. 

I also like this version of Dr Loomis played by Malcolm McDowell, as you can tell that he genuinely does care for Michael's well being, but there's that side of him you can tell wants to become rich and famous off of Micahel's story which the sequel would end up ruining by taking it too far as it felt a little more subtle here.

The adult Michael is one of my favourite versions of the famed killer as he's just an absolute hulking brute that seems impossible to take down and his kills really have a brutal sense to them this time round. Surprisingly for a Rob Zombie movie, the gore never feels too gratuitous and only shows what you need to see. 

The second half of the film is essentially a retelling of the original movie just rushed a bit, but it's all good fun. An underrated experience for sure. 

8/10

2. Halloween (2018)

I love this movie. I've watched this every Halloween since it came out and will continue to do so. I'm probably overrating it a bit, but I don't care, this is the Halloween movie I wanted to see for YEARS. It pains me that it's two sequels were never able to match that level of excitement and love. 

Of course this movie benefits from ignoring all other sequels and pretends that only the original ever happened giving us a fresher perspective on the character. Due to multiple timelines from all the sequels and remakes, most Halloween fans have their preferred timeline of events. Mine is the orginal, followed by this movie and then we stop there, and it's pretty much perfect. 

Jamie Lee returns as a more extreme version of Laurie who's went a bit insane in the 40 years since her first encounter with Michael to the point of alienating her family and turning her entire house into a trap for a returning Michael. 

We also have a fantastic version of Michael who's been hungry for blood for 40 years and he really takes his chance to kill anything he can here, including an epic long shot of him going house to house in Haddonfield, killing as he goes. It's wonderful stuff. 

I really have nothing bad to say about it. I love this movie. 

9/10

1. Halloween (1978)

Of course it couldn't be anything else. 

This movie was and still is the greatest slasher ever released and everything after just feels like a pale imitation. Michael's presence feels like he's around every corner waiting to strike like a patient shark, the musical score is perfect and brings out your deepest anxieties, and even Jamie Lee in her one of her early roles is the perfect babysitting victim for The Shape. 

Again, another one I watch every year and never become tired of it. It's one of the main reasons I'm such a horror fan and absolutely adore Michael Myers. 

You can't kill the boogeyman. Enough said. 

10/10

Thanks for reading! And I'll be as quick as I can with the next horror franchise I'm taking on. It's a big one...

Ranked Worst to Best: Evil Dead Series

 

During the spooky month of October I continued a somewhat regaular tradition of mine of recommending a horror movie over the course of the full month. I always enjoy these as a small way of talking about horrors I've enjoyed and I've even been told by friends that they've found a hidden gem that's now one of their favourites, like 'Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon' (go watch it, it's great)

Now that October has been and gone I still had a thirst on for talking more about the movies I love, so I've decided to come back to this blog for the first time in years to continue my thoughts on these beloved movies. I love a worst to best list so will try to keep doing these for different franchises. I needed somewhere to start though, and where better than probably my favourite horror franchise of all time: The Evil Dead. 

The Evil Dead series has been around since 1981 and whilst the franchise only has 5 movies (and a 3 season TV show) to it's name; it's the most consistant horror franchise around with not a bad or even merely good movie to speak of. Sam Raimi isn't here to whore out his franchise for a cheap payday and has instead waited for the best time and best script to allow for a movie of the year contender to be unleashed onto audiences. For anyone new to this, the series mainly focuses on an isolated group terrorised by demons from hell, unleashed by the words spoken from the Book of the Dead. If you don't like gore, look elsewhere.

I've been a fan all the way back to 7 or 8 years old when my dad introduced me to the goofy brilliance that is Army of Darkness and I've been a fan ever since with each entry in the franchise making it onto my Halloween watchlist each and every year. I've never grown tired of them and never will. And now like a parent picking their favourite child, I'll need to decide which is best and which is worst. Let's begin. 

5. Evil Dead Rise (2023)

It feels unfair putting this one so low as it's still not even a year old so hasn't had the time to sink in like all the others have, but I can definitely see this moving up the list as the years go by. Hell, 2023 isn't even over yet I've already seen this 3 times and could easily go a 4th anytime soon. 

This one marked a bit of change as most of the Evil Dead movies focus on a group of teenagers in isolation, whereas as this one decides to go for a more emotional hook with a single mother and her family targeted by ancient evil spirits. 

Whilst it's not the scariest movie around, it more than makes up for it with it's gore and practical effects. I don't think there was a single CGI effect and I can't tell you how much I love that. Alyssa Sutherland's performance as deadite mother Ellie is absolutely spellbinding and outside of Ash in the previous movies, I think she may be my favourite character from the series. The way she changes from loving mother to horrific demon is brilliant and absolutely disturbing when she starts attacking her own children. 

This also features some stomach churning moments such as a character deciding to eat some glass which then nearly pokes through their neck, and you'll never be able to look at your cheese grater the same way again. Really the only negative I can come up with is that it does run out of it's momentum a bit by the end but not enough to spoil the whole experience. Overall one of the better horrors released in 2023 and more proof that the Evil Dead franchise is far from running out of steam. Hopefully we don't have to wait 10 years for the next one. 

8/10

4. Army of Darkness (1992)

Army of Darkness was my introduction to this entire franchise as a child and I can't tell you how many times I rewound the VHS tape to watch it all over again. It felt like a B-movie version of Lord of the Rings and I lapped up every second of it as the delapidated cabin in the woods is swapped out for a medievil fortress. 

This is pretty much the goofiest the franchise would ever become as horror is pretty much out the window and this is really just a straight up action/fantasy/comedy. So many franchises would not survive such a drastic change in style but it's really all held together by the performance of Bruce Campbell who takes his near over the top portrayal of Ash in Evil Dead 2 and turns it up to 11 with so many hilarious one liners and quotable moments you won't be able to forget. 

The only thing really holding this whole thing back is a lack of good gore but it makes up for it with one hell of a unique experience you owe to yourself to checkout. 

8/10

3. Evil Dead (2013)

A big part of me really wanted to put this further to the top but the next two entries and just too good and too iconic. I remembering hearing of a planned Evil Dead remake and severly balking at the idea of it considering how many sub-par remakes were around at the time. I wasn't convinced until I finally went to see it in the cinema and was shocked at just how good it was.

This wasn't some lazy cash grab to be made off of a legacy franchise; this was a passion project of a fan that was even overseen by the godfathers behind the previous instalments: Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell. In something that was very against the times, the director, Fede Alvarez, opted to do away completely with CGI and use only practical effects, making the bloodsoaked cabin feel all the more visceral in it's presentation. 

It was also a stroke of genius to have the characters out at the cabin to help one of their friends go cold turkey as it does away with the stereotypical party teens into something more believable. And when the former drug user tries to convince everyone of the danger in the woods, of course they don't believe her as she's bound to hallucinate with what she's going through. 

This is just balls to the wall violence and gore from beginning to end with not a boring moment to be had, all the way up to the fantastic final ten minutes of pure adrenaline. If you've been sleeping on this one, you need to make up for lost time and check it out ASAP. 

9/10

2. The Evil Dead (1981)

Trying to pick between the first two movies is like trying to pick between Alien and Aliens. It really just comes down to your genre preference. Like the 2013 remake this is just absolute balls to the wall mayhem and madness for 85 minutes, and given it came out in the very early 80s, I'm not surprised that it was banned in certain places and considered one of the first video nasties. Even watching it in a packed out cinema in 2023 it still manages to shock those who've never checked it out before. 

Barely any money was given to this at the time and every single penny was put to outstanding use with some of the gnarliest gore scenes ever put to film, including a cringe-inducing pencil to the ankle, and some of the best blood splatter effects out there. This is the first time we're introduced to our hero Ash and while he's not yet the quippy hero we all love, he still stands out here as the final stand against the demons of hell. 

Still an all time classic that holds up well today and is almost the best cabin in the woods style horror ever made if not for....

9/10

1. Evil Dead II (1987)

The king of the castle and not only the best Evil Dead movie, but my favourite horror movie of all time. Hell it might even be my all time favourite movie, horror or non-horror. This is the perfect balance of the Evil Dead formula with some epic one liners and hilarious moments (everything with the severed hand is golden) whilst still managing to hit a few good scares and keeps a feeling of dread throughout up until the bonkers ending. 

This is the movie that made Bruce Campbell famous with a legendary performance as Ash that somehow manages the feat of being an absolute goofball and a badass at the same time. Whilst it's a little lighter on the gore compared to the original (but not by much) it ramps up the mayhem by one hell of a notch as you barely have time to breath with the first deadite showing up barely 5 minutes in. 

This is just perfection for me and everything I want out of a horror. I've watched this at least once a year for the past 20 odd years and will continue to do so. An all timer. 

10/10

Well there's my first list in quite a while. I'm feeling very rusty but I'm hoping I'll get the hang of it soon enough, especially with my plan to cover a HUGE franchise next. Thanks for reading. 

Album Review: Architects - For Those Who Wish To Exist

 

I know in my last post I said I wasn't looking to do any new reviews any time soon, but one thing you should know about me is that I'm very fickle and will change my mind on pretty much a daily basis, plus even with this only coming out on Friday (I'm writing this on Monday) I've listened to it so many times and have heard many different opinions on it and wanted to throw in my two cents on this anticipated new release from the English metalcore legends. 

FTWWTE is the ninth studio album by Architects and follows 2018's "Holy Hell". I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan of the band as I'm more a fan of "Holy Hell"  rather than their previous work as I consider a masterpiece of metal core and a genuine 10/10 record that was just filled to the brim with absolute emotion after the death of founding member Tom Searle to the point where it felt like the band were determined to make him proud of what the band had become and I think they did a damn fine job of it. I do enjoy their previous stuff especially "All Our Gods Have Abandoned Us", but none on the level of "Holy Hell" which is pretty much my favourite album of 2018 which had my hopes up for this release. So is it any good? 

I guess that would depend on who you ask as the band have changed their sound quite a bit to the point where this is probably the least heavy album they've ever put out and of course that comes with cries of blasphemy to their traditional sound or copying other bands like Bring Me The Horizon or Linkin Park which, in my opinion, are completely unfounded, as the band hasn't changed their sound that much and feels more like an evolution. "Holy Hell" felt like the time for the band to grieve over a fallen brother but this album is the sound of a band coming out of the dark and into the light to signal a new beginning. 

That being said is FTWWTE as good as "Holy Hell"? No and it was never going to be as that was a near impossible act to follow. Is FTWWTE a great album overall? Not really but it does flirt with greatness but a few flaws let it down which is a bit disappointing but I do still like this album a lot so I'll begin with what I like about the album. 

First off, vocalist Sam Carter is allowed to show off more of his vocal range with a lot more clean singing sections in these songs whilst I've heard a few complaints that there should be more screaming, the parts that do contain screaming come across as a lot more memorable on tracks like "Black Lungs" and "Discourse is Dead" to really just add to the effect and makes the album come across as more varied as a result. 

For the metalcore fans there are still tracks that will be on your playlist for a good while like the aforementioned "Black Lungs" which whilst also being a catchy as hell single with a big chorus also features a nice breakdown at the end which is guaranteed to have the pits going when this opens their live shows in future. 

There are just so many huge tracks I love here like "Dead Butterflies" which was another single released before the album which just hits so many emotional beats for me and I find myself just wanting to scream along with the chorus with an orchestral backing which just adds to it's enormity. I also loved "Impermanence" which is easily the heaviest track on here with another huge breakdown and features a guest spot from Winston McCall from Parkway Drive who's huge voice just adds so much to that final breakdown and really puts me in the mood for some Parkway. 

Speaking of guest spots, Simon Neil of Biffy Clyro fame features on the track "Goliath" and surprised the hell out of me as I expected his inclusion to be on a softer track but I was surprised to hear him properly go for the screaming he was known for early on in Biffy's timeline around the time of Infinity Land. Nice job from my fellow Scotsman and his inclusion made this hard hitter another highlight in an album full of them. 

I'd also like to give a shout out to first single "Animals" which has been stuck in my head since I first heard it back in October last year and still packs a mighty punch with a killer main riff and a chorus that could break down fucking mountains. I won't be happy until I can hear the band play this live and I can tear out my vocal chords shouting along to it. I also love how the album ends with the last two tracks as it really does intend to end on a high note starting with final single "Meteor" which is an appropriate title for a track with a massive chorus intended to have a whole crowd jumping along to it. You can criticize the newer sound of the band all you want but they know how to write a damn catchy song. The final track "Dying is Absolutely Safe" (great title) is slowly becoming my favourite track and is on par with the final track from "Holy Hell": "Wasted Hymn". It feels like the emotional climax of the whole record and could have fit on the previous album perfectly. It's an almost completely acoustic track that just builds and builds to one hell of crescendo complete with orchestral backing to really take it to the next level. 

And now we come to the flaws. I feel like I say this all the time when I'm being critical of particular records, but this record is just too damn long at 58 minutes and there are some tracks that come across as filler because of it. I mean 15 tracks is a lot for one album and I feel like if they had just cut out a few of the tracks and kept the record closer to the length of "Holy Hell" then the whole record would be much more memorable and would have taken it to that next level but as it is it's just another very good release to add to the discography. I love where the band is going but I hope in future they are able to contain themselves a bit. Tracks like "Little Wonders" are fine but float a bit too close to that Bullet For My Valentine "Gravity" sound that didn't quite work out and tracks like "Demi God" and "An Ordinary Extinction" feel like they're missing something to take them to the next level and end of forgettable and slow the album down a bit when the momentum really should keep going. 

Aside from that though there isn't much to complain about as this is a damn good release that really should be a great release, but like I say, it's a new beginning for a band that needed it and I look forward to seeing where this record takes them next. I'll be sure to keep an eye on it. This definitely won't be for everyone as I know fans of the band that really do not like this, but give it a try, you might just find yourself surprised. 

Overall rating: 7/10

Tracks to check out: Black Lungs, Dead Butterflies, Impermanence, Animals, Meteors, Dying is Absolutely Safe

Thanks for reading and if you have any new or even old albums you'd like me to check out and possibly review then be sure to leave a comment or even leave a band name you'd like to see for my Worst to Best series whilst I'm still trying to decide between Bring Me The Horizon or the daunting 18 album discography of the mighty Judas Priest. 

Ranked Worst to Best: Bullet for My Valentine

 

At the moment I have quite a big list of bands I want to focus on with these worst to best posts, but Bullet For My Valentine jumped up to the top because they've been a band I've wanted to talk about for a while as they're a bit of a curiosity to me. Back in high school around 2009 and 2010 they were one of the most popular bands for my group of friends of growing metalheads and the band seemed like they were set to be the next big thing and future festival headliners but they've kind of faded into obscurity in recent years and aren't the powerhouses they once were. 

For anyone not familiar with the band, they are a Welsh metalcore band formed back in 1998 and have since released only 6 studio albums with their first released in 2005 and their last released in 2018. I'll be going through each one to rank from worst to best and give my thoughts on each release along with 3 track recommendations. Maybe through this I'll see what went wrong in recent years. 

I should say, I don't think I'm going to be doing new album reviews any time soon as I want to focus on this kind of post for now whilst I'm having fun with it but they make come back at another point. For February I'd recommend The Ruins of Beverast, The Pretty Reckless, and Architects. Anyway, lets get on with the list. 

6. Temper Temper (2013)

Bet you thought you thought "Gravity" was going to start this list off. Don't worry we'll get there eventually. This is an album I've listened to multiple times because I always feel like I'm missing something from the record and one day it'll just click and I'll suddenly understand it but I never have as this was just a tremendous disappointment at the time of release and even going back now 8 years later. 

Don't get me wrong it's not a terrible album by any means as I have heard worse but it's quite telling when even the top 3 tracks off this album don't really come close to their highlights from from the past and the whole album comes across like the B-Sides from "Fever" that weren't quite good enough to make the main album. It's pretty mediocre overall with nothing that could really be called bad outside of the terrible idea to do a sequel to one of their biggest hits with "Tears Don't Fall (Part 2)" which really doesn't work. Every time I listen to it I think I'm gonna find something to like but I just end up cringing at them trying to bank on the nostalgia of their older track. "Unforgiven 2" this is not. 

I do wish it had a better opening track as well as all the previous album openers are absolute belters but "Breaking Point" is as generic as it gets for a metalcore track. I don't want to be too negative though as there are a few shining moments like where they stick more to the formula that works with ripping riffs and catchy choruses that stick in your head for a while afterwards but sadly they're few and far between like with "Truth Hurts" which is pretty much a spiritual successor to "Your Betrayal", the title track which is probably the best on the album with it's stomper of a chorus, and the short but sweet "Riot". I'll also give a shoutout to "P.O.W" which is a good example of the more melodic tracks that Bullet appeared to have mastered years earlier even if it does sound very similar to "All These Things Revolve Around"

Thankfully the album isn't too long but even at just 44 minutes it can drag a bit. The whole album does come off as a disappointment after 3 huge records making the band seem like they were unstoppable but this really was a roadblock on their path to the top and there would still have another roadblock to pass.....

Overall rating: 5/10

Top 3 tracks: Truth Hurts, Temper Temper, P.O.W

Worst track: Tears Don't Fall (Part 2)

5. Gravity (2018)

Now I believe this is the album that a lot of the band's fans would mark as their lowest point due to it being the least "metal" album they've ever released but I don't hate it myself and whilst it's not really an album I can totally recommend to anyone, it still has a few bright spots worth mentioning because unlike "Temper Temper" they at least tried something new.

So what happened here is the band experimented with a newer sound where they stripped back the metalcore and thrash and went the route of bands like Linkin Park and Bring Me The Horizon of going down a much more melodic route to make their music more accessible and it just didn't work out for them as they alienated long time fans and didn't really make many more new ones along way and since this album's release the band have been pretty quiet which is worrying. 

It still has some heavy tracks worth checking out I think, including the first proper single "Over It" which still holds up with a nice main riff and catchy chorus you would expect from the band at this point. There's also "Don't Need You" which seems like a cheat since it was released as it's own single 2 years before this album even came out but it's part of the official tracklist so it counts and in that case it's easily the best thing on here and a big crowd pleaser that'll stay as part of their setlists for a long while. I also really do enjoy the final track "Breathe Underwater" which is I think is the only totally acoustic track the band have ever released and sounds like a breath of fresh air after a pretty standard fare of an album. 

I can see why people would be totally turned off by tracks like "Letting You Go" or "The Very Last Time" that are very poppy in their formula but I dig it. Hey I'm a Bring Me The Horizon fan in 2021 I'm pretty much used to big changes at this point. Where it fails for me is just the forgettable nature of a fair few tracks that feel like they're here just for a test run of the band's new sound and don't really add much and there's a lack of true highlight tracks that feel unmissable. It's fine but with a bit more thought it could have been something that turned a corner for the band and gave them more creative freedom but after it pretty much misfired I'm thinking that they'll be forced to go back to their original sound to win some fans back which is a shame because I like bands branching out to something different if it works for them. 

Overall rating: 6/10

Top 3 Tracks: Over It, Don't Need You, Breathe Underwater

Worst track: Gravity

4. The Poison (2005)

Bet you thought this would be at the top spot. Yeah I might get some hate for this but I'm looking at the discography from an overall presentation standpoint and this does have flaws I'm sad to say. 

Don't get me wrong, this is a great album in my book and an album that did expand my musical taste back in high school when I started to discover more bands that were heavy in nature and I can't thank it enough for that. It runs into similar issues I have with Slipknot's highly regarded self-titled debut (that I'm sure I'll get into another time) in that it has a ton of brilliant, iconic tracks, but it's still filled to the brim with unneeded extras that stop it from reaching perfection. 

The first half of this album is tremendous, filled with tracks that still hit like a freight train. The opening sets the tone perfecting with an orchestral intro by Apocalyptica leading right into the vicious "Her Voice Resides" with Matt Tuck screaming "No!" at the top of his lungs to great effect. I don't think that anyone could argue that "Tears Don't Fall" isn't the definitive BFMV track and is still easily the best on the album and best example of Bullet's mixture of slower, melodic sections with thrashing madness to create an iconic track of it's generation. 

Elsewhere, "4 Words (To Choke Upon)" and "Suffocating Under Words of Sorrow" bring the fire as massive sing along tracks that are still played live regularly and for good reason. Another highlight for me is the biggest ballad on the album "All These Things I Hate" that starts off with an acoustic guitar before blasting into another huge chorus that you just feel the need to join in with it's that good. 

For me though this is pretty much where the highlights end as the second half of the album really lets the side down as outside of "Cries in Vain" it's all pretty forgettable and ends making the end of the album feel like a slog with a few skippable tracks like "Room 409" and "10 Years Today" so it's not quite the masterpiece I remember but is still a very good album worth checking out thanks to its stomping first half. 

Overall rating: 7.5/10

Top 3 tracks: 4 Words (To Choke Upon), Tears Don't Fall, All These Things I Hate

Worst track: 10 Years Today

3. Scream Aim Fire (2008)

I'm sure this placement is gonna make a few people mad as well. 

I'd never really noticed before but in comparing this album to "The Poison" I can now see how very similar they are in terms of the formula as they're laid out in almost the exact same way, only this one does it better but still falls into the pitfalls that it's predecessor tripped into as well. 

The first half of the album is brilliant just like "The Poison" with the title track and "Waking the Demon" bringing the thrashing metalcore goodness to the forefront with 2 of their most iconic tracks that remain part of the live setlist, and "Hearts Burst Into Fire" shows that great melodic side to the band with a heavy ballad that still hits my previously emo heart to this day. There's also the underrated tracks like "Eye of the Storm" and "Disappear" that are definitely worth another look all these years later. 

Again though, it's just the second half that lets the side down a bit although not as badly as the last album with only a couple of filler tracks, but the track that I really don't like at all is the final track "Forever and Always". Bullet have been so good with their big melodic stadium-sized anthems but this track just comes across as cheesy and just drags on for way too long to end the album on a pretty bum note. 

Still though, this is an improvement over the debut and a good sign of things to come for the apparent future of heavy metal. 

Overall rating: 8/10

Top 3 tracks: Scream Aim Fire, Waking the Demon, Hearts Burst Into Fire

Worst track: Forever and Always

2. Venom (2015)

Trust me I'm just as surprised to see this here as you are, as before I began working on this list I assumed this would be towards the bottom but it had been years since I listened to it all the way through, and after multiple listens since, I can safely say this is one of Bullet's best and most consistent albums they've ever released and I genuinely considered it for the top spot on this list. 

The pressure was on BFMV at the time as they'd just lost bassist Jason James who was replaced by Jamie Mathias, plus the band still had to follow up their most disappointing release and I think they knocked it out of the park. 

Album opener "No Way Out" kicks things off in huge fashion with a track that's just a ball of pure thrash energy that has my adrenaline going every time it comes on and is better than anything found on "Temper Temper". "Army of Noise" follows with another thrashy track that Testament would be proud of, followed by "Worthless" that is smart to go down the more melodic route after those 2 tracks. 

"You Want a Battle" is still an absolute mammoth of a stadium track that is worth going out of your way to hear live, trust me. "Broken" comes out of nowhere as a hidden gem that hits hard for 3 short but sweet minutes as well. 

Really this is just such a well paced album and they were right to finally go with a shorter album time of around 41 minutes so not a second feels wasted and even the second half has something to offer with big tracks like "Skin" and "Hell or High Water" bringing the big choruses and solos you want from Bullet and ballads like "Venom" keep things from feeling too samey. Just a great album through and through and one that really surprised me. If only the band could have stuck to this path. 

Overall rating: 8.5/10

Top 3 Tracks: No Way Out, You Want a Battle, Army of Noise

Worst track: The Harder the Heart (closest it comes to filler but still good)

1. Fever (2010)

Yeah this was always going to be number 1 for me. It's been my favourite Bullet album since it was first released and even after multiple listens of each release leading up to this list, this was still the one I looked forward to going all the way through with again and again and now I just really want this album to be cheap on vinyl so I can have it. 

It's very comparable to "Venom" in terms of its formula as it is so well paced with a nice mix of different tracks to keep the flow going, I just think it's done a lot better here since this is for a 49 minute album that feels so quick and does not drag at all. 

In terms of track highlights there are so many to go through with "Your Betrayal" setting the tone as their best opening track ever and almost steals the whole album itself with some groovy verses and yet another massive chorus which is then followed by the thrashy title track which I do enjoy a lot but it's hilarious hearing Matt Tuck trying to sound sexy with the line "Come here you naughty girl". Slightly cringe but it gives me a giggle. "The Last Fight" was the first single from the album and is still probably my favourite Bullet track with a burst of adrenaline of thashy metalcore that they do so well and better than most others as this remains in my regular playlist to this day. 

In terms of ballads we have "A Place Where You Belong" and "Bittersweet Memories" that easily hit the expectations set by their predecessors and then some with both quite underrated in my mind. The heavier tracks are rounded out with "Begging For Mercy" and "Alone" with the 2 of them being the heaviest the band have ever released whilst still managing to sound like stadium anthems in their own right. 

Really there isn't really any filler here as even the smaller, often more forgotten tracks like "Pleasure and Pain" and "Dignity" still coming across as big hitters in an album full of them. To me, Bullet have never been better than this album and I doubt they'll ever surpass it but goddamn I hope they try. 

Overall rating: 9/10

Top 3 Tracks: Your Betrayal, The Last Fight, Begging For Mercy 

Worst track: Genuinely can't pick one

Well there's my list. I hope you enjoyed. In terms of Bullet I do think they have a chance of making it back up to their high spot on metal ladder, but it really depends on their next album and the direction they go so here's hoping they hit it out of the park when they do. 

So what will my next list be on? You'll have to crucify me to find out. 

Ranked Worst to Best: Metallica

 

Going for something a little different this time as I didn't want to stick with just talking about new music and intend to revisit some major albums and bands from the past and present as I rank their studio album output from worst to best. I thought I'd take it easy to start with and go with a band that doesn't need any introduction: the mighty Metallica. 

Their career has spanned almost 40 years as of this writing and they've only become bigger and bigger as time has gone on for better or for worse depending on your opinion. I know these guys are a love or hate band for most but they are the band that essentially brought me up on the world of metal and for that I'll be forever thankful. I'll never forget being blown away the first time 'For Whom the Bell Tolls" hit my ear drums and changed my perception of heavier music.

I don't usually do ratings for albums but in this case it helps with ranking so I thought I'd give what were my overall ratings as well as my general opinion of each album along with my top three tracks from each. 

Again this is just studio albums so albums like Garage Inc and S&M won't be included. Lulu will also not be included as I've never listened to it and never plan to. Let's get on with it and I'm sure you've already guessed what our first one is. 

10. St Anger (2003)

I know this is an easy target but I really couldn't put anything else before it. I do want to say that I don't hate or dislike this album at all, but it is easily the hardest of their albums to get through all the way through. I'm not even going into the snare drum issue because it's been done to death and everyone knows it sucks. It doesn't help that I've seen the documentary "Some Kind of Monster" where we see the band members (outside of the awesome Kirk Hammett) acting like spoiled brats and it really doesn't help the overall image and adds to the feeling that this is just the band throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks.

The biggest issue for me (as will be a running theme throughout these) is that the overall package is way too long. A mediocre album is one thing but a mediocre album that lasts 75 minutes in length is just too much. The album does start strong at least with it's two best tracks in the opening fury of 'Frantic' and the title track which was pretty much the thrashiest thing the band had put out since The Black Album but's all downhill from there. 

I know this has been mentioned a ton as well but why the hell were there no guitar solos? I'm not saying you need solos to be considered a great metal band, but Metallica are know for their epic solos and there are some repetitive tracks in here like the average sounding "Dirty Window" that could have used one to take it to another level, or the 8 minute tracks that really need them because they really shouldn't be that long. 

As for the 8 minute tracks there are three of them and only one is worth listening to in the pretty good but still a tad too long closer "All Within My Hands" as it's grown on me with it being performed rather elegantly on the recent "S&M2" release whilst the original isn't quite as good, it still has it's moments. "Invisible Kid" on the other hand is one of the worst and most boring tracks the band have ever came up with and "Some Kind of Monster" starts brilliantly but halfway through just turns into a farce, making me wish it was only 4 minutes long instead of 8. 

It can't be all negative though as, like I said earlier, the first two tracks are great in my opinion, and there are a few hidden gems with some of the shorter tracks like "My World", "Sweet Amber", and "Purify" that are all decent thrashers in their own right. "The Unnamed Feeling" seems to get a bit of love nowadays but I'm not too big on it outside of a good chorus. 

Not a terrible album by any means but I still can't recommend it and it's easily the worst the band have put out to this point. 

Overall Rating: 5/10

Top three tracks: Frantic, St Anger, Sweet Amber

9. Reload (1997)

I've always wondered if this should count as an official studio album as the band have always stated that this was essentially the B-Sides from "Load" but everyone else counts it as an album so I may as well. Plus if this is just the B-Sides then they did a damn good job on them. 

I do consider this a good album so it might seem like it's too low on this list but the one's after it just have more to offer and this is another that suffers from the album being too long as this one goes for 76 minutes and whilst it does technically offer more than "St Anger" it can still drag on especially towards the end with some of the least memorable tracks on offer. 

The first half of the album is where it shines though, with multiple big hits like the opener of "Fuel" which is still one of the most energetic and blood pumping tracks the band has ever put out and the surprisingly good sequel that is "The Unforgiven II" and whilst it's not as good as the original it's still a good track in it's own right with a killer chorus that sounds like it should be played live more often.

I know "The Memory Remains" is a favourite on here but I've never been the biggest fan of the studio version and have only been able to listen to the much superior live versions that feel full of energy and crowd participation whereas the studio version has always been a bit dry to me. 

I do love "Devil's Dance" and feel like it's one of Metallica's most underrated tracks of all time as it has such an addictive beat to it that you can't help but have it in your head all day. There are some other fun rockers like "Slither" which always sounded eerily similar to "Enter Sandman" to me with it's main riff, and the atmospheric "Where the Wild Things Are" that's almost the sleeper hit of the album. 

The album is let down by some forgettable tracks like the long and uninteresting "Low Man's Lyric" or the cringy "Attitude" but it's saved a little by the final track "Fixxxer" which aims to be as big as "Bleeding Me" or "Outlaw Torn" that just falls a little short of those ones but still manages to be a fun, epic track in it's own right.

This is a good release that just falls short of being a truly great one. 

Overall rating: 6/10

Top three tracks: Fuel, The Unforgiven II, Devil's Dance

8. Death Magnetic (2008)

I kind of surprised myself with how low this ended up on the list but after going over each album it was clear that this was pretty much the best placement for this album as it's not their best but not their worst either, plus I had a pretty tough tough time choosing between this and number 7 for this spot so it could have went either way. 

After the rough time the band had with "St Anger" this was pretty much the shot in the arm they needed as they essentially went back to their roots with the thrash on display whilst still keeping to their bag of tricks from the 90s to spice up some tracks. Whilst this may not have been an album of the year contender it is still a damn solid release with some great tracks that were instant crowd pleasers at the time. 

Really the only issues I have with the album are the (of course) length as it's a pretty meaty release at 74 minutes as it does start to drag a bit as we reach the last 20 minutes, and the production still hasn't aged well even 12 years later as it's totally overproduced and can come to the edge of sounding almost distorted at times, but it isn't enough to ruin the album finally. Of course with the band essentially trying to go back to their roots it means that whilst most of the tracks are good, some of them sound very similar to older tracks and so it doesn't really feel like they're breaking new ground. This is especially apparent with the track "The Day That Never Comes" and whilst this is a good track it sticks to the formula of their track "One" so much that it could be a copy. I still like it though. 

There are some tracks on here that should have been cut way down though like the 8 minute "The Judas Kiss" which isn't bad but does feel like a filler track and drags way on, and the 10 minute instrumental "Suicide & Redemption" which I do like more than others but it should have been 5 minutes shorter at least and could have done without trying to sound too much like "Orion". 

I've been moaning way too much already as there are a ton of positives in here too with a few tracks that could be considered new Metallica classics like opening thrasher "That Was Just Your Life" that feels like a welcome back to fans of the past for one of the most adrenaline pumping songs they've ever put out, and album highlight "All Nightmare Long" which might just be the heaviest track the band has ever put out and is just 8 minutes of pounding fury and glorious solos galore. We also have the ending to the Unforgiven trilogy with "Unforgiven III", and I'm not gonna lie, this is probably my favourite out of all 3 tracks. The piano intro leading into a nice throwback to the original is great and the solo with James screaming "Forgive Me" before it just gives me chills everytime. The album does end on a high note with the shortest track on here in "My Apocalypse" which is a thrash throwback to tracks like "Battery" and "Damage Inc" whilst creating it's own identity. 

Overall rating: 7/10

Top three tracks: That Was Just Your Life, All Nightmare Long, The Unforgiven III

7. Load (1996)

"Load" and "Reload" essentially have the exact same issues with both of them having a good few album highlights but too much filler to pad out a frustratingly long runtime. So why did "Load" get a much higher place than "Reload"? Because there's much less filler and the highlights are way better. 

Let's get the filler out of the way first. We didn't really need "Poor Twisted Me", "Thorn Within", or "Ronnie" did we? It didn't help that these come right at the end of the album and just make the whole ending feel like a drag. 

Right, now for the good stuff. This album might be Metallica's most varied album ever and I love it. It's gotten a lot of hate given that it came out after the "Black Album" and is really more of a hard rock album than a metal album meaning that a lot of the tracks on here are underrated gems. Even the first couple of tracks with the dumb but fun "Ain't My Bitch" kicking things off and the brilliantly groovy "2x4" which deserves so much more attention. 

Of course you have the big singles as well with the gothic "Until It Sleeps", the almost-ballad "Hero of the Day" and the almost-Sandman "King Nothing" all bringing the goods, but where this album really shines is with it's epic tracks as they are two of the most underrated tracks the band has ever released with "Bleeding Me" ending the first half of the album on a high note with a gorgeous track that starts soft and just builds and builds to huge finish as it becomes heavier and heavier as it goes on. It's part ballad and part rock opera and just works amazingly well. "The Outlaw Torn" is the album's closing track and another belter with no second of it's 10 minute runtime being wasted. Weirdly enough the "S&M2" version of this track was my most listened to track of 2020 so that tells you all you need to know. Brilliant stuff.

Overall rating: 7.5/10

Top three tracks: Bleeding Me, The Outlaw Torn, Until It Sleeps

6. Hardwired...To Self Destruct (2016)

Not sure if this is considered a controversial pick or not, but fuck it, I love this album and continue to love it more and more with each listen as it has so much to offer. It may be one of their longer albums even by their standards, but out of all them this is the easiest one to get through by far and has some of the best tracks the band have put out in years. Kind of hard to believe this one is turning 5 years old this year. 

So to get the filler out of the way, there isn't really much as the only true filler track to me is "Am I Savage?" which isn't really a bad track but I just find it a bit too slow and plodding for my test and it's chorus just feels uninspired. There's also "Murder One" which doesn't have much going on but it is a nice tribute the the late Lemmy so it gets a pass from me for that reason. 

Other than that this album is just filled with tracks that will be considered Metallica classics in the future like the brilliant "Moth Into Flame" which was inspired by Amy Winehouse and the dangers that fame and fortune can bring with a stomping track that will most likely be on all future setlists with it's catchy as hell chorus and great solos. There's also the epic "Halo on Fire" which just seems to build and build before the last 2 minutes unleashes a barrage of face melting solos and great vocals from James as the band just goes mental and it's brilliant. The band also brought back the mighty Cthulhu for "Dream No More" which honours his legendary mythos with one heavy as hell track.

There are quite a few underrated tracks on here as well with the main culprits being "Confusion", "Here Comes Revenge", and "ManUNkind" but I'd say these are definitely worth checking out again. The "S&M2" version of "Confusion" really made me realise just how good it was and hearing "Here Comes Revenge" live in person really made me appreciate it's epic main riff all the more. In "ManUNkind"s case, it's a fun track that also has a music video that shows black metal heavyweights 'Mayhem' playing the track as part of the Lords of Chaos movie so how can you not love that?

The cream of the crop here though is "Spit Out The Bone" which is easily the best track the band have released in years and maybe even decades. Yes it's that good. I've had it on my playlist pretty much non-stop since it came out. A brilliant thrashing track that just never let's up for 7 minutes as it details the doom of mankind being taken over by machines in a Terminator scenario. 

Overall rating: 9/10 

Top three tracks: Moth Into Flame, Halo on Fire, Spit Out The Bone

5. ...And Justice For All (1988)

Ok, now this placement may cause a bit of controversy. Whilst I do love this album, I do not place it quite as high as the top 4. Save your pitchforks and angry mobs for the end please. Of course it is hard to be too critical of the band at this point as well given that this was their first without bassist Cliff Burton who tragically passed away in a crash only two years previously in 1986 and I do think he was a huge part of writing their first 3 legendary albums and the band may have still been in the grieving process though. 

Speaking of bassists, enter Jason Newsted of 'Flotsam and Jetsam' fame and you have to feel bad for the guy given that the production on the bass work is so bad on this album that you can never really make it out to the point where fans have since released an '...And Justice For Jason' remix version of the album to make the bass stand out. Still though, like the bad production of 'Death Magnetic' it's not enough to completely derail the album but it is noticeable and it is a negative. 

Other than that there's not too much to be critical of as it is a hell of a tracklist on offer. The only track I'm not big on is "The Eye of the Beholder" which just comes across a bit dull outside of a decent riff but it is sandwiched between two of the best tracks on the album so at least it feels like more of a break than anything else. Whilst I do enjoy "To Live is To Die" as it's a lovely tribute to Cliff, I do feel that it does go on a bit too long at nearly 10 minutes and it's the weakest Metallica instrumental up to this point and ione I tend to skip when listening to the full album. 

Everything else ranges from very good to all time great. Of course the best track on here is the epic horror war story of "One" which has remained a classic over 30 years later for good reason with it starting off like a ballad in the vein of "Fade to Black" before morphing into a huge thrashing monster as it nears its end. Huge props to the opener "Blackened" as well as this was the first Metallica album opener that wasn't a straight forward thrash all the way through track as it does start off that way but slows down midway through with some chugging riffs and elegant solos before going back to a furious pace again. 

Really it's hard to go wrong with an album that includes great thrashers like "Dyers Eve" and the forever underrated "The Frayed Ends of Sanity". The title track as well is just fantastic and doesn't waste a second of it's near 10 minute runtime. This could be a perfect album if not for a few minor issues but I'll still take it as it is. 

Overall rating: 9/10

Top three tracks: Blackened, ...And Justice For All, One 

4. Metallica (The Black Album) (1991) 

Man, I'm gonna get a lot of shit for putting this ahead of Justice aren't I? To be fair I do consider them to be pretty much on par with each other although I do have a lot more fun with this album.

It's a bit of a controversial one with Metallica and thrash fans in general as some love it for just for it's overall quality, but others hate it for not being a proper thrash album and Metallica's first real departure from thrash that led to their hard rock style that would take over during the rest of the 90s. 

Of course I'm one of the ones that loves this album, I mean I grew up with it for gods sake. And that tracklist is just unbelievable good. "Enter Sandman", "Sad But True", "The Unforgiven", "Nothing Else Matters", "Wherever I May Roam" just to name a few? Sublime. "Nothing Else Matters" gets the most flack for being a big ballad but my god that guitar solo is something else and still gives me chills. Yes "Enter Sandman" is overplayed to hell but you can't deny it's impact on the metal scene and on music in general as it's forever been a gateway track for new fans into the metal genre. And you're lying if you say you don't still sing along to it every time its on. 

Other than that there are a good few underrated tracks on here as well with "The God That Failed" detailing the horrific religious upbringing of James and is probably the heaviest track on here. There's also "My Friend of Misery" where Jason finally has a chance to show off his bass skills with a track eerie in nature but is pulled off beautifully. 

Really I can't think of anything negative to say other than there maybe being one too many tracks overall but there's nothing I could really cut without feeling a bit of pain inside. 

Overall rating: 9.5/10

Top three tracks: Enter Sandman, Nothing Else Matters, The God That Failed

3. Kill 'Em All (1983)

These short reviews are about to get a lot shorted as from this point on I really don't have anything negative to say at all. 

This is the debut album and you can't really ask for a better debut from a band. Have there ever been any as good as this one? Only Iron Maiden's self titled release comes to mind. This is easily the band at their rawest and most energetic and it turns out a record of absolute power. It really shouldn't work as the whole thing is basically just raging thrash tracks for over 50 minutes but it just works as even in the very early days of the band their songwriting was just spectacular. 

There is only one real moment where the thrash turns off for a bit and that's with the Cliff Burton led instrumental track (Anesthesia) - Pulling Teeth that starts off with a great bass solo before Lars comes in and takes it to the next level. Everything else just fires off on all cylinders from the rifftastic opener that is "Hit the Lights" to the mesmerising melodies of "Phantom Lord", to the stadium filling, sing along gem that is "Seek and Destroy" there's really no going wrong here. 

Overall rating: 10/10

Top three tracks: Phantom Lord, Seek and Destroy, Hit the Lights

2. Ride the Lightning (1984)

You have no idea how difficult it is to choose between the top 2 albums and depending on what day you ask me, I might just changed my mind. These albums are like kids to me leading to a very metal version of Sophie's Choice, but one album had to take the second spot after all. 

Again I don't have too much to say on this one as I do not have any criticisms at all as this is pretty much a perfect album all the way through with no bad or filler tracks to speak of and just flows like the calmest river you'll find. 

What's not to love? You have the thrashing madness of opener "Fight Fire With Fire" and the fantastic riffing solos of the title track. "For Whom the Bell Tolls" got me into Metallica in the first place and it still has what may be the intro to any metal track ever made and never fails to get me headbanging along with it.

"Fade to Black" almost caused a bit of backlash with it being the band's first ballad,but they knocked it right out of the park as this may be the best track they've ever released with some hypnotic acoustic guitar work and a chorus that's essentially just an instrumental but works so well. Not to mention that final guitar solo is an absolute face melter. Just perfect. 

You've also got your underrated thrash gems with "Trapped Under Ice" and "Escape". "Creeping Death" is an all time thrash classic and the band have proved this with just how well it works live with a bit of crowd anticipation, and the subject matter of the Pharaohs of Egypt really adds a bit of epicness to the whole thing. And finally it all ends with "Call of Ktulu" which is an 8 minute instrumental which never bores and it's opening guitar picks send chills down my spine. It really makes you feel like you're out in an arctic tundra. So how could you possibly follow this up? I can think of a way....

Overall rating: 10/10

Top three tracks: For Whom the Bell Tolls, Fade to Black, Creeping Death

1. Master of Puppets (1986)

It couldn't really have been anything else could it? Get ready for me to gush all over this like the last one. 

For years this has long been considered possibly the greatest metal album ever released and it's really difficult to argue with that as it's a perfect album for sure. 

I mean the album starts with the thrashing rage of "Battery" and the majesty that is the title track. They could have ended it there and everyone still would have loved it but thankfully it keeps going after that. 

We have another entry in the Cthulhu saga with "The Thing That Should Not Be", a slow atmospheric track that still manages to be heavy with some thick riffs. Another favourite of mine is "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)" which almost sounds like a precursor to one as it has a similar formula with a more melodic opening before descending into madness (pun intended) to finish the track off in brilliant fashion. 

Of course you have the other heavy hitters like the war protesting "Disposable Heroes", the underrated "Leper Messiah" and the vicious ending of "Damage Inc." but for me it's really the instrumental track "Orion" that's the main standout towards the end. Due to the tragic death of Cliff, this song has really become a tribute to him in the years after his passing and it's hard not to get a little emotional whilst listening to it, but the track itself is just gorgeous as it weaves it's way seamlessly through thrashing riffs to cosmic sounding solos and all the way back to thrash again. 

It's Master of Puppets. Of course it's the best. 

Overall rating: 11/10

Top four tracks: Battery, Master of Puppets, Welcome Home (Sanitarium), Orion

Thank you for reading and if you made it all the way through then you're a real trooper. I'm hoping to keep this going with other bands to come in the future and I have a few ideas for my next one in between the new reviews I hope to get down to soon. 

If you want to throw some ideas my way please go ahead and let me know your thoughts on this ranking. 

Cheers!